May 16th, 2012
Alecsandro: The Heady Heights Of Success
May 16th, 2012
Baller Bylines: David Luiz & Gary Cahill
Image: AP Photo/Tom Hevezi.
David Luiz: Well, I for one am glad he’s suspended. JT might be a pioneer in on-pitch accessorising but the boy has no clue when it comes to stylish haircuts.
The Champions League Final is the biggest event in the club football calender as such, it’s imperative that Chelsea is represented on the world stage by the best in blow dried bouffs. Fernando is getting his highlights touched up, and I’m about to take a delivery of an industrial size bucket of frizz ease to combat the humidity in the Allianz Arena.
What have you got in mind for the big day, Gary? Streaks like Phil Jones? Blue dye like Gael Clichy? Do tell.
Gary Cahill: Huh?
May 15th, 2012
Germans In GQ: Mats Hummels, Manuel Neuer, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mario Götze & Dennis Aogo
First spotted on Lowes Miserables Live Journal by reader, Anna.
They came. They saw. They scowled.
Four players from the German NT (plus Dennis Aogo, who failed to make the Euro 2012 squad) appear on four different German GQ covers in June: Mario Götze & Dennis Aogo (to be circulated in Northern Germany), Manuel Neuer (East Germany), Bastian Schweinsteiger (South Germany) and Mats Hummels (the luckiest part – West Germany).
Which cover do you hold to the hottest esteem Kickettes?
May 15th, 2012
Danielle Lloyd: Needs More Glamouflage
Cups with padding or a metallic bandeau would’ve flattered the future Mrs Jamie O’Hara‘s skinny minny frame much better than that triangle top which is making us and her 12 year old boobs sad. Image: Big Pictures.
May 15th, 2012
The Tuesday Torso: Luiz Antonio, Flamengo
Image: AP Photo/Felipe Dana.
Blindfolding players is a necessary evil if we want the exact location of Kickette HQ to remain a secret.
We tend to take their pleas for leniency a little more seriously if they help us out in the early stages, though.
May 15th, 2012
Ligue 1 Awards: An Alternative View
Montpellier’s Younes Belhanda picks up the award for ‘Most Effective Use Of An Accessory to Increase One’s Hot Quotient’. Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/GettyImages.
It was meant to be a celebration of all that’s great about French football, but having browsed the the stills from last night’s Ligue 1 Awards, we doubt we’d have fact checked too heavily if they’d been labelled ‘Ligue 1 Metrosexual of the Year’ Awards.
Hmm. There’s a thought.
May 15th, 2012
Milan Baros: Flesh Mob Madness
Image: BULENT KILIC/AFP/GettyImages.
Milan Baros organised a police escort to protect him from the Kickette massive on his way to the dressing room after he and his Galatasaray teammates were crowned 2011–12 Süper Lig Champions.
In light of recent events, that was a very reasonable measure of protection.
May 15th, 2012
Ruud van Nistelrooy: Sexy Sign Off
We not totally distracted by the tongue. We’re suckers for sad, teary eyes to0. Image: REUTERS/Jon Nazca.
Having spent several years titillating us with various protruding body parts, it seems fitting that Ruud van Nistelrooy should sign off his illustrious career with a cheeky tongue pop.
The former Manchester United, Real Madrid, Hamburg and PSV Eindhoven striker announced his retirement from football yesterday, and while Malaga fans will be ruing the loss of a goalscoring guru, it’s his physical presence on the pitch that we will be remember with equal fondness.
All the best to you and your delicious fam for the future, Ruud boy!
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