August 23rd, 2010
Falsely Accused: A Note On The Chelsea Pants Vandal
Hello, Police? We may have located your suspect.
We would like to take this opportunity to issue a full and frank statement of denial in response to the rumours that are circulating regarding the wanton vandalism of the Chelsea squad’s pants.
While hunting down footballer’s undergarments is a practice advocated and indeed encouraged in the ‘Kickette Conduct Manual’, we would never actively encourage a soldier girl to approach a player’s pants… unless the player was actually wearing them at the time.
In that scenario, some tearing may occur, but this would be in the spirit of merriment and with the player’s full consent.