May 30th, 2012

Abbey Crouch: Do’s & Don’ts of The Down-to-There V

Fresh off her bikini parade in Dubai, Abbey Crouch attended the Glamour UK Women of the Year awards in London last night. In honour of the occasion, Abbey was dressed by stylist Angie Smith in a classic, sexy white suit by Parisien couturier Alexandre Vaulthier. You may recall that Vaulthier was the culpret behind this monstrosity that Alex Gerrard donned at Aintree a few years back, so we’re pleased to see he got his shoulder game in check since then.

Should any of our Kickettes find themselves wearing a problematic plunging neckline, here’s a few Glamour-inspired Do’s & Don’ts from us to keep hidden in your lingerie drawers:

- DO keep your jewellery plan simple. Opt for understated gems where you can.

- DON’T bother with a neck tie. Like, ever. Try topping off your outfit with nude patent Louboutin Pigalle heels or a Louis Vuitton clutch instead.

- DO avoid nip slips of the cold and whoopsie kinds by using stick-on cups or special bras.

- DON’T use your down-to-there V ensemble to send subliminal messages. ‘Tis better to kill three birds with one stone by taking things on over to Twitter (e.g. rubbish false reports in tabloids about your weight, tell the article’s author to stick it where the sun don’t shine and get a ”hellz yeah – you go girlfriend!” retweet of support from a high-profile peer of yours).

So, in summary, we’d like to hear your thoughts on Abbey’s fresh white suit. Do you rate it a yay or nay, Kickettes?

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20 Responses to “Abbey Crouch: Do’s & Don’ts of The Down-to-There V”

  1. sohbet says:

    very blog thanks admin

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  3. christina_barca says:

    OMG What is she wearing????

  4. Kristina says:

    I like her suit very much! But it's a bad picture of her. Her face looks scary. Still, us skinny ass girls must stick together! Some of us looks like this, get over it!

  5. Femz17 says:

    Something about her make up is making her look very scary.

  6. GermaninLondon says:

    1. She is over 18.
    2. She shows no signs of NOT knowing what she is doing.
    3. She appears to be quite happy collecting the money.
    4. If it kills her, her choice.

    She is an adult (over 18) and there is a soap-bar commercial/webpage right now running a mentoring scheme because 6/10 young girls give up ballet/sports (anything physiclal) they love due to body image issues. Yes, there are societal pressures – wear this, look like that, but there are many successful women (including WAGs) out there, who do not diet to oblivion to get one more photo on the celeb pages, one more offer of a photo shoot from GQ, etc. These are all conscious choices by Abbey and her ilk.

    Sympathy time – over.

    I'm concentrating my sympathies on the 6/10 young girls too young to make informed choices silly people such as Abbey negatively influence!

    • mata says:

      You make a good point. But I still can't help feeling sorry for her, she was one of those 6/10 girls once, I'm not an Abbey fan by any means but I don't think body image problems just magically disappear when you reach the age of majority.

  7. IrishBlue says:

    Abbey! Too thin girl, too thin!

    Those shoes look extremely uncomfortable to walk in, Im getting blisters just looking at them.

  8. tashy says:

    I think that abbey was beautiful before she had a kid nd married peter crouch how can ppl put stuff lyk that on top of them,unlike vitoria beckham or angie jolie who r 2 beautiful skinny girls da skinny look doesn’t work 4 her ,I remba I used 2 think she was da prettiest WAG but now she jst looks rally wired something’s changed bout her I dnt knw wat anyway da suits neat but her makeup not so much

  9. Kel says:

    I'm most worried about the lack of punctuation in her tweets

  10. Loninha - Brasil says:

    only the white suit is beautiful, your makeup and hair is bad do not know, I like and brushes made ​​with air and more glamorous! She is too skinny, ugly and is looking sick!
    I get very scared when I see a woman so thin and people do not say anything about it!

    • AC_USA says:

      Agree yet when we see someone carrying 2 pounds more then they should, all hell breaks loose!!! :) I think that this issue needs to be talked about more because examples they are giving to young ladies out there are not right in my opinion. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, No matter the shape or size :)

      • Kristina says:

        I must say that "all hell breaks loose" in either case. As is evident on this blog. What happens when there is a picture of Abbey here? People just can't stop going on about her weight. It's not healthy to be too skinny or too fat, but I think we should be honest enough to admit that skinny people creates just as much uproar as fat people.

  11. Carvivlie says:

    I like the suit but what is going on with her makeup? Her eye makeup just looks too, too dark to me—negating the bright and fresh look of the suit. She just looks tired and run down—but that's what happens when you are not eating healthily.

  12. mata says:

    I hardly notice what she is wearing any more, can't even look at her without wincing, so emaciated and no muscle tone, and to think she says she needs to lose more weight, scary.

    • Catty Women says:

      God no, please tell me she did not say that she needs to lose more weight. The people in her life that loves her better be corcern for her health, if this is true. sad stuff.

      • mata says:

        If you can believe what is written in the British press she was quoted as saying that she's finally happy with her body now but would still like to lose more weight so she can wear a size 0. So sad.

        • Kristina says:

          I don't think you CAN believe what is written in British press. Still, if it's true then it's not a very good example to all those young girls struggling with their self-image. What matters is your health and how you feel about yourself. If you, like me, are very thin then what can you do about it? Skinny people can be beautiful too. As long as you don't starve yourself in order to fit some kind of sick stereotype.

          • mata says:

            Agreed, when skinny = strong and healthy it is beautiful, my bf is even thinner than Abbey but she eats like a horse, it's just her body type and she doesn't look remotely unhealthy, she is very athletic, I think she is very sexy and judging by the number of men always after her I'm not alone! It's just this extreme dieting regardless of health to fit into some magical dress size so you can be a human clothes hanger that I find troubling and it bugs me the way Abbey is so often being praised in the fashion press for her weight loss.