December 23rd, 2011

AC Milan’s Bubbas & Ballers Are About To Occupy Your Ovaries

The unfair distribution of superior genes is alive and well at this particular Italian football club, and in the name of full disclosure, there’s a few things you need to know about your ovaries before watching AC Milan’s bubba-rific holiday video (set to a banjo remix of Jingle Bells):

1.¬†They are the 99 percent. History often repeats itself, so girdle your loins all you want but Zlatan’s blondies are coming to haul them away (0:11 & 0:40).

2. This will be a peaceful protest by your biological clocks. Sudden feelings of hatred for your contraception will be allowed to flood your main sexual chambers and set up tents, kitchens and a stuffed animal zoo (0:42 – 0:45).

3. During the minutes that follow your viewing of these babies, your bodies will be sent into a state of shock and ‘AWWW!’ (0:57 – 1:00 & 1:08 – 1:10).

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It was nice knowing ya, Kickettes!

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11 Responses to “AC Milan’s Bubbas & Ballers Are About To Occupy Your Ovaries”

  1. Alice says:

    I think I'm still squealing. they are so cute <333

  2. Marika says:

    No matter how cute the children are I can see only the father – Zlatan …

  3. LOL says:

    Arghhh, Zlatan's kids,so damn cute. Hope he has a little girl one day :)

  4. littlegreenpea says:

    DUDE. I want a kid that cute. :)

  5. earidurt says:

    ovary explosion !!! that first picture nearly killed me with all its cuteness. ibra's son with those adorable specs! little robson is beautiful! and nesta's son is just precious. these ballers know how to pop out cute kids i tell ya!

  6. Melaniee. says:

    I know this is random
    but I had a dream yesterday where zlatan was my bf.
    & we made out a lot but he wanted to have sex.
    And I was like no…..

    Cute kids though…….

  7. laligagirl says:

    Zlatan's kid looks like that kid from A Christmas Story, lol.…

  8. rossanera says:

    Baby Gattuso takes after his Daddy … just look at that death stare.

  9. AC_USA says:

    All kids are cute of course. No question about it. But to me Zlatan;s kids always bring cuteness and adorableness to a whole new level. I wish he and Helena would have more kids cuz apparently they make them well. :) )))

  10. balicious8 says:

    cute kids they have ^.^