December 6th, 2011

Advent Calendar Girls: Sarah Brandner & Abbey Crouch

Bastian Schweini girlfriend WAG Bavaria knickers

Images: © obs/AXE Unilever Germany.

Spiked egg nog may boast ‘Have A Drunkenly Forgettable Merry Christmas’, but nothing says ‘Happy Horny Holidays!’ quite like Sarah Brandner in a bubble bath.

We’re not sure what holidays everyone here celebrates (but are open to hearing more!), but most of our staff grew up believing that Santa was real and Grandma couldn’t ever make our favourite homemade cookies because she got run over by a reindeer.

Ever since the ‘advent’** of WAGs, things have clearly changed.

For Sarah Brandner, her career is the gift that keeps on giving to the straight, single males out there. Throughout December, she’s doing her pouty promotional part for AXE deodorant’s Christmas campaign, which doubles as a virtual advent calendar. Users who are compelled to pull open one of the seasonal doors will be greeted by either a smiley sweet Sarah or a 99 percent bare Brandner. From the abundance of presents she receives, (including a drumkit, undies and riding gear) we can only assume that either Sarah has been a good girl this year or we have a hell of a lot to learn about men’s sexual fantasies.

While we were busy waiting for the site’s slow flash to load, we also spent a moment in another browsing tab navigating LOVE magazine’s rather funky electric advent calendar. Apparently Mrs Peter Crouch is hiding behind one of the digital doors, although our own impatience prevented us from confirming this visually .

We’re planning a digital advent calendar with all the Xabi Alonso, Marco Borriello, Joe Hart, etc we can stuff your stockings full with. At our current work rate, things should be ready to launch on December 1st 2016.

**Soz, we couldn’t resist a bad pun.

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17 Responses to “Advent Calendar Girls: Sarah Brandner & Abbey Crouch”

  1. Bree says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2068…
    I didn't even recognize Abbey from her earlier days,I actually think she was lot prettier before,and her new fuller lips certainly aren't a product of sudden lip growth.

  2. Anastasia says:

    I think Sarah Bendtner is a total PLAIN JANE, I can think of a million other stunning blondes and this girl is just not it. Her boyfriend is hot though, in a robotic way, (I love guys like that). He can do so much better than this girl. Also, YES I'd love to see Mario Gomez in a photoshoot, he is so freaking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who's he's girlfriend? Is she hot? Marco Boriello is gorgeous also, but let's face it, he doesn't look like the smartest tool in the shed. NO biggie, at least he has better taste in girlfriends than the hot German robot.

  3. Mrs. Q.Borri says:

    The Marco Borriello version with some Adil Rami on the side,

    Thank you Santa! :)

    xo Mrs. Q.Borri

  4. lone- Brazil says:

    Oh my God, I also forgot about the Yoann Gourcuff (Lyon) Alessandro Nesta (AC Milan) Toni Kroos (Bayern Munich) Frank Lampard and John Terry (Chelsea) Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) to how many cats we love and admire them! yes yes yes !!

  5. lone- Brazil says:

    I forgot Mats Hummels and Mario Götze (Borussia Dortmund) Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid) Kleber (FC Porto) Lucas da Silva (Sao Paulo FC) and Manuel Neuer (Bayern Munich) todods underwear of course!

  6. xoWinnie says:

    in other WAG-related news, Malena Costa might be dating the deliciousness otherwise known as Miguel Angel Moya?! BEYOOONNND jealous here! he is hot as hell! but this is a certain pattern now isn't it. Malena's turning out to be quite the baller shagger isn't she? oh well, get it while it's hot girl! i ain't mad at her!

  7. lone- Brazil says:

    honestly, this girl is not pretty, I think skinny ugly and dull and infirm only makes these campaigns because dating a football player!
    I want a calendar with Super Mario Gómez (Bayern Munich) in his underwear! Thank you !!

    • Melaniee. says:

      i actually find sarah gorgeous.
      but i agree with a mario gomez in his undies….
      that is something everyone should agree on.

    • xoWinnie says:

      "skinny ugly dull and infirm" make those campaigns because that's what MODELS are paid to look like. unless you think all models are ugly.

    • anna says:

      Wait, was my comment deleted or something? What the? I said almost the exact same thing. I think she is pretty, but just way too skinny, especially when she was wearing those lingerie and I can see her ribs and all. It's very unattractive. She looks good with clothes on though.

  8. xoWinnie says:

    "virtual advent calendar"? whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?
    what's the point of an advent calendar if there's no chocolate?
    I DUN WAN IT DEN!

  9. Lou says:

    Can I pre-order the Xabi Alonso version? Thanks.

  10. anna says:

    I don’t find her sexy at all, maybe WITH clothes on? I find her way too skinny. It’s awkward seeing her in lingerie since there’s nothing to look at but bones.