January 20th, 2008
Alan Smith: Loo Romantic
Apparently the night before the big England v Croatia match last year (you know, the one we’re still bitter, twitching, and bitterly twitching over), the England team were partying with a group of teenage models at Watford’s Grove Hotel. And by partying, we mean having sex in the toilets, followed by a side of text-stalking.
News of the World, the tabloid paper which regularly makes ballers and fact-checkers cry, has copies of horn-dog text messages Newcastle’s Alan Smith sent to a girl, Sophie Bovington-Kerr, whom he met at the hotel. After the pair hooked up in the bathrooms, she says Alan bombarded her with sex-text messages constantly. The FA are apparently considering launching an investigation into things.
Question: are the girls who sell stories to the papers about their hot ‘n heavy hook ups in toilet stalls aware that they may come off looking rather slagtastic? Just wondering.
But back to the shenanigans. Tell-all girl Sophie Bovington-Kerr, take it away:
“It was the night before the biggest game of some of these players’ lives and all they were after was sex with me and my friends…
He’d[Alan] strutted around and gave the impression he could sleep with me just because he’s a footballer. But that night we talked properly and I really liked him… Twenty seconds later he sent me a text saying, ‘Meet me in the toilets in five minutes’ and he left the room.”
Romance is not dead, Kickettes. It’s alive and well and smells of lemon zest air freshener and floor tiles.