November 10th, 2009

Alex Gerrard: Words To Live By

Alex GerrardEach week, for the past 32 weeks, Alex Gerrard has tapped the inner depths of her shopping soul for Now Magazine to provide style and beauty advice to wagabees, randoms and beauty peasants alike.

Although we approved of her hangover treatment recommendations, she never did properly teach us how to perfect her trademark black raccoon eye make-up look. Our therapist says one day we will get over this loss.

Thankfully, Alex did spend her columnist time reminding us of her life’s little pleasures:

her house in Portugal, her house in Ibiza, her rich and attractive husband, the expensive outfits bestowed to her mini-mes.

Alas, she’s wrapped on her column for the magazine; we must bid adieu to her illustrious career in journalism and await her next job opportunity with baited breath. To ensure a proper send-off,  we’ve captured some of her best lyrical waxings below as a tribute to her unwavering support of all things shiny and skin-glowy.

Oh, no. Wait. She’s just been taken on as a “style expert” for OK! Magazine. Is Alex covering Coleen’s mat leave or something? This is all quite sudden. More on that later. Let’s get on with the advice:

Alex Gerrard in Diane von FurstenbergDress Sense
“The newspaper criticised this outfit and said I looked like a traffic light, but hey, what do they know about fashion? It doesn’t upset me when people knock my dress sense, it just baffles me when it’s clearly a nice outfit!”

Fake Tans
“The only thing I hate about fake tans is wearing it in bed – I think it smells of digestive biscuits!”

Hair Styling
“I’ve had quite a bit taken off the length because with all this hot weather, the back of my neck was getting a bit hot!”

Best Mates
“I went out last Sunday for former Brookside actress, Suzanne Collins’ birthday, because she’s a friend of a friend.”

Shoe Selection
“I love wearing wedges because they’re so comfy…however because I’m quite tall I sometimes feel like a tranny while wearing them!”

aug21alexandlillyella-500x663Childcare
“I’d just nipped into Liverpool with Lexie to take a top back to Cricket. Lexie’s so well-behaved and she’s such a good shopping companion!”

Now, onto Alex’s new column!

Here’s a teaser: this week in OK!, Alex gives advice on how to look taller (high shoes, pencil skirt and a massive beehive), says her and Stevie just bought their girls a Maltese puppy (aww!) and says she bought her much-debated Uggs with studs at Flannels.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

25 Responses to “Alex Gerrard: Words To Live By”

  1. NICKYYY says:

    i'm not sure about now magazine as i dont read it but she had/has a weekly column in 'new' does that mean this is over too?

  2. Senorita Iniesta says:

    Oh, Alex … I will miss her column … xD

    "Lexie’s so well-behaved and she’s such a good shopping companion!”

    No need to say anything more ….

  3. Ladybird says:

    Carole Malone, eat your heart out. You know nothing about cutting-edge journalism compared to this literacy whizz!!

  4. Avenath says:

    Alexander never fails to entertain…

  5. gelly says:

    “The newspaper criticised this outfit and said I looked like a traffic light, but hey, what do they know about fashion? It doesn’t upset me when people knock my dress sense, it just baffles me when it’s clearly a nice outfit!”

    It's rather, what do you know about fashion? She does look like a traffic light in that dress, it is atrocious. Worst fashion sense ever.

  6. MissEstonia says:

    I love her, even though she’s married to a mug. Those quotes are great! And I love her hair in that first picture…I’ve just had mine done like that! Success! =]

  7. jasmine says:

    ha.“The only thing I hate about fake tans is wearing it in bed – I think it smells of digestive biscuits!”

    shes so entertaining!

  8. Nurul says:

    Childcare
    “I’d just nipped into Liverpool with Lexie to take a top back to Cricket. Lexie’s so well-behaved and she’s such a good shopping companion!”

    ROFL :D

  9. Merel says:

    ”The newspaper criticised this outfit and said I looked like a traffic light, but hey, what do they know about fashion?”
    Let me ask you Alex? What do YOU actually know about fashion? Nothing right?

  10. Gigi Neville-Brown says:

    “I love wearing wedges because they’re so comfy…however because I’m quite tall I sometimes feel like a tranny while wearing them!” You said it.

  11. Redgirl says:

    Oh dear lord. The problem from Alex’s point of view is that her self-deprecating joke has actually reminded us all that she does indeed border on the tranny-ish. The bottle blonde, big-boned, slap-it-on-with-a-trowel look is a touch Lily Savage, no? But standing in for Coleen? I’ve actually spent a bit of time with Mrs R and she’s got a genuine style of her own, plus she’s a savvy, shrewd, loyal girl who protects Wayne’s image. Take note, Ms Curran.

  12. LISAA says:

    have u seen the pic on front of OK magazine, seen it in the Asda then and god she looks 40 ish!

  13. Lolinha says:

    Another quote this time from her Twitter:

    "I Had A Great Day Out With My GirlFriends. I Thought I Must Come On Twitter And See How Many Followers I Have And I Was Very Dissapointed. x"

    http://twitter.com/alexcofficial <– if this is in fact her.

  14. Lolinha says:

    I didn’t want to judge her based on those excerpt solely, so I Youtubed an interview… Now I feel safe to say that I think she’s an idiot. And her voice compliments her looks. *meow*

  15. jelly says:

    She is joking right? This isn’t advice, it’s insanity. god bless her for trying…

  16. FootballerChick43-"Mrs.Ballack" says:

    The fashion quote seriously made me fall over laughing. Oh my God. Brilliance.

  17. Riya (Come on you Re says:

    She makes me die. How did Stevie marry this woman? I will never ever ever understand…

    And she doesn't need to remind people that she's married to Stevie and I'm not. It's a fact I curse everyday.

  18. mrs aaron ramsey ('pool fan) says:

    oh how i wish stevie gave me a puppy :( i could just cry but (even tho i love alex) she is incapable to love anything thats not her…..and i guess her munchkins and gerrard of course but grrrrrrr i want a puppy tooooo or nando’s phone number either one gerrard darling

  19. Anya says:

    What's up with those exclamation points?

    It's a nice dress! My hair is blond! My tan is fake!

    Didn't know she's that much of a screamer…

    My favorite was when she said that she doesn't like when Steven waxes his back, sack and crack.

  20. SJ says:

    Quick q referring to Alex (urgh!)/Stevie

    Is it true that supposedly one of the girls isn't Stevie's?..

    I do thoroughly love the Fake Tan + Shoe Selection quotes. Hahaha

  21. Fer_Lahm says:

    Now who's going to give me fashion advices? lmao

  22. Lana says:

    I don’t buy New or OK, so don’t really care. Just came to write, that UK Vogue December is out and Alex isn’t in it. So, maybe, OK is right magazine for her

  23. bubbly_cheryl says:

    excellent, if alex is replacing coleen then thats alright news, cause i think she is more entertaining than her

  24. Boston Red says:

    Aw hell no! She better not be replacing Coleen permanently! Obviously I will still read it. LOLz to her feeling like a tranny…

  25. Lucy says:

    "attractive husband" LOL