May 24th, 2011

Arsenal FC: Stalking Adorkables

Yes, the benefits of having a remote-controlled Cesc are seemingly endless. Image: Reuters/Daylife

With all the nonsense involving super-injunctions at the moment, it was only a matter of time before club managers would be in the market for a device to assist in keeping an eye on their charges when they’re out of sight. Or some sort of harness to prevent them committing their nefarious deeds in the first place.

Either works.

Ahead of the pack as usual is Arsene Wenger, who in lieu of winning trophies this season, has been scouring the world for such a device. Word reaches us that he has been successful in his quest, and is experimenting with tracking devices to keep tabs on his Adorkables when they have been released from the training ground. Well, maybe that’s not entirely the case, but we are imaginative enough to take a story involving an Arsenal player wandering off whilst wearing his GPS training device and his team-mates monitoring his movements and twist them to our own ends. You would expect nothing less.

Continuing on our theme, we’ll alert you further when the Kickette IT department has successfully hacked said devices and for a small fee can navigate your chosen player to your house to exploit in whatever manner you see fit.

Any takers?

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17 Responses to “Arsenal FC: Stalking Adorkables”

  1. Zahara says:

    i am under the impression that most kickettes live in england, yes?
    if so, why do u need one of these things when you can camp outside emirates stadium and jump cesc and take him home?
    god, some ppl just have it made.

  2. JA7 says:

    I loveeeee my adorkables! Samir & Cesc, adorkable in every way possible!

  3. I bet some Arsenal supporters are pretty disappointed with him right now. On the day of the final match he tweeted a pic if him at F1 in Barcelona. I can see why gooners get upset about that. Especially when Liverpool's injured captain went all the way to Villa park and sat by the away supporters for last match of the season. Hail the captain!

    • Sophie says:

      People forget Cesc has only turned 24, he made a mistake and tbh considering he took the photo down immediatly and was then tweeting when he was back as Arsenal on tuesday ,I think he knows he was wrong.He has given alot to Arsenal over the last 8 years and deserves respect for that rather than being attacked over a bad judgement call. I love my Arsenal boys and will support Cescy all the way.

  4. Erika P says:

    i would sell you my soul for such a device! mail me immediately when you find it!

  5. gin_in_teacups says:

    Is the post-Cesc/Carla breakup sensitivity period over? I mean, I liked the girl but I think enough time has passed now that I can feel guiltless about saying, in the words of Leslie Knope, I want to make out with him. On his face.

  6. @mezz98 says:

    This pic makes me want to give Samir Nasri a big bear hug.

  7. ToysForBots says:

    Hack it by June, please! Spain is playing a friendly in the US, and if Cesc gets called up, I will look forward to accidentally-on-purpose running into him. Several times.

  8. mochara says:

    Nomnom Cesc is so sexy even when he's not trying.. *sigh* I'm a little bit off subject but he is probably the only footballer perfect in every way!

  9. Sophie says:

    Perfect this should help my stalking. Also has anybody been following Cesc's twitter wars with Jack Wilshere and RVP. His tweets are only make my love him more.

  10. Cymraeg_Ddraig says:

    Has it been mentioned on here yet that according to a British tabloid Cesc is now single? Form an orderly queue ladies and gents, BEHIND me!

  11. Leya_S says:

    Lol, this could be BAD.
    Can you imagine the black market prices for direct GPS intel on where the players are???
    Although, maybe then there'd be no need for "super injunctions" bc it would keep everyone in line….

  12. Kait says:

    Two questions. How can I get a hold of one of the "hacked" devices? And anyone have any ideas how to get one on Iker?

  13. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Is this service available for Real Madrid too? :p