May 24th, 2011
Arsenal FC: Stalking Adorkables
Yes, the benefits of having a remote-controlled Cesc are seemingly endless. Image: Reuters/Daylife
With all the nonsense involving super-injunctions at the moment, it was only a matter of time before club managers would be in the market for a device to assist in keeping an eye on their charges when they’re out of sight. Or some sort of harness to prevent them committing their nefarious deeds in the first place.
Ahead of the pack as usual is Arsene Wenger, who in lieu of winning trophies this season, has been scouring the world for such a device. Word reaches us that he has been successful in his quest, and is experimenting with tracking devices to keep tabs on his Adorkables when they have been released from the training ground. Well, maybe that’s not entirely the case, but we are imaginative enough to take a story involving an Arsenal player wandering off whilst wearing his GPS training device and his team-mates monitoring his movements and twist them to our own ends. You would expect nothing less.
Continuing on our theme, we’ll alert you further when the Kickette IT department has successfully hacked said devices and for a small fee can navigate your chosen player to your house to exploit in whatever manner you see fit.