February 28th, 2011
Ashley Cole: Enough With The ‘Larking About’
Image: IAN KINGTON/AFP/Getty Images.
By now, 99% of you are probably well aware of Ashley Cole’s recent intern-shooting-with-a-rifle shenanigans, which is a helluva lot more aggressive than the liquid peer pressure we strongly encourage our rowdy bunch to partake in.
For the questionable 1%, however, the story goes like this: football’s answer to Charlie Sheen was ‘larking about’ Chelsea’s dressing room with his .22 air gun last Sunday before accidentally shooting a work placement kid from just 5 feet away.
End scene…for us anyway.
Rather than bore the heebeejeebies out of our mentally capable readers – or head down the usual ‘gee, that excuse fail sounds familiar, don’t it?’ beaten path – we’ve decided to redirect our attention to our own interns. While 21-year-old Tom may not be jumping at the chance to recommend his current employers to future potential minions (or maybe he is?), the magnificent management here at Kickette have high hopes for our own yearly observations.
The only way to know that we’d receive the top marks we often generously give ourselves, we polled the staff at our headquarters to see what they had to say about Kickette’s unpaid labour exchange (two were unavailable for comment because of a sticky Gummy Worm something or other, but with participation records breaking by the day, we’ve already gave ourselves a positive progress back pat). Here’s what they had to say:
“Shooting the interns? We interns at Kickette DREAM of the day. Our lives consist of being chained to desks in the basement, churning out copy about ‘ballers and – if you guys are in a really good mood – you might throw a bucket of champagne over us.” – K2
She’s kidding about the indecent working conditions, but serious about champagne showers.
Another mocked us some more, by adding:
“I got poked in the backside for spelling Cannavaro wrong once. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I was then forced to stare at photos of Ronaldinho in his underpants for long periods of time while wearing off-the-rack garments. I still have nightmares.” – M
So, all is apparently not well ’round our parts in seems. Perhaps we need to work on that employee recognition program we’ve been postponing for some time. Oops.
In any event, *by no means do we advocate violence* or repetitive reporting. We have no qualms with questioning Ashley Cole’s current episode of stupidity, though, and were wondering if you’d tell us your thoughts on either topic when you have a mo?!