April 29th, 2010

Baby-Faced ‘Ballers: How Durrty Are You?

This is Mitch Langerak. He’s 21 years old and plays in goal for Melbourne Victory. Yes. We know. Our interest in the A-League has suddenly rocketed too.

We might appear to be drunken hot messes with the moral fibre of, well, her , but we swear we were well-raised. Hence, we can’t help but feel there is something slightly ‘naughty’ about hankering after boys who, while not young enough to be our own sons, currently share an age bracket with our pre-teen siblings and/or cousins.

What we don’t doubt, though, is that we’re not alone in feeling wracked with this young-love guilt. Call it our maternal instincts or our bon-bon group therapy sessions that don’t seem to be working, but there’s something babylicious in the Kickette air. Lately, the barely legal ‘ballers have left us captivated and feeling duurrty. If you’ve caught yourself dreaming of a school (or work) free summer, then indulge, share your nasties, or feign some sort of outrage and phone a hotline.

Freddie Sears (Coventry City – on loan from West Ham)
Some boys are a little inexperienced. A couple of fumbling misunderstandings re: the socks, but then again, baby boys shouldn’t be expected to dress themselves if they’re still breastfeeding.

Duurrrrty girl rating: Fancy dress party. Wrong costumed kid. Pure shame.

Mitch Langerak (Melbourne Victory)
Yep. But we like him so much we’ve decided to post this picture too. To us, Mitch is the best tadpole to experience awkward pubescent moments with because he makes you feel better about yourself.

Duurrrrty girl rating: Backseat of his Dad’s car. You lie to your friends about it.

Jack Rodwell (Everton)
Already popped on our radar due to this. It’s never sexy when they know it. Well, sometimes. Maybe.

Duurrrrty girl rating: Under the coats on a bed at a party. Drunk. But not that drunk.



Alessandro Malomo (AS Roma)
If you like ‘em blond and rippling, you’re headed in the right direction with Alessandro Malomo. Lean and lanky with genes to die for, we have this one earmarked for our own personal use. And we don’t lend.

Duurrrrty girl rating: Meeting Mum & Dad. After they’ve unexpectedly walked in on you topless.

ArsenalJack Wilshere (Bolton Wanderers – on loan from Arsenal)
Previously noted by our good selves whilst shilling neon Nike, Jackie boy is the epitome of biteable baby. Get him now while he’s warm & tender.

Duurrrrty girl rating: Down the park with his mates and yours. He lets you wear his hoodie. For a bit.

Bojan Krkic
Others demonstrate an understanding far beyond their years.

Duurrrrty girl rating: You film yourselves.

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61 Responses to “Baby-Faced ‘Ballers: How Durrty Are You?”

  1. Hannah says:

    Mitch´s the best one! we love him here in germany and he made a great season last year!

  2. Amy says:

    it looks like Malomo's shorts are glowing. hmmm….

  3. lila says:

    Where is Sergio Canales??? He is a cutie!

  4. Starsarella says:

    its a shame i’d hit everyone of those. ;)

  5. sounderslove says:

    mmm yes please. mitch and alessandro, feel free to stop by anytime. clothing not required.
    and aaron ramsey is not on this list but definitely should be…19 and gorgeous.

    and no i do not feel dirty (or at least, any dirtier than normal) – the age gap is pretty damn small.

  6. keziah says:

    Here in Melbourne we’ve known about Mitch for some time… and if you dont mind we’ll keep him for a little longer cos u Europeans get all the hotties eventually :-)

  7. eatmyboost says:

    What would be ultra-cute is if some of these boys stay cute when they grow facial hair, like Iker (still youthful at nearly 29 and with beard) and Niko.

  8. Deffo-Nando says:

    I'm 17, so i'm ok with it. deffo rodwell. he's sooooo fine. And prob alessandro malomo

  9. Julia says:

    I’m liking this list, especially Jack W and Alessandro – and no I don’t feel dirty as I’m younger than them! :) Oh and then there’s Mitch…as a victory fan I did know about his cuteness for quite some time!

  10. rubyqueen19 says:

    oh my god i could never have sex with nando.!!!i,d be too afraid of hurting him and making him cry.!!awwwww he’s too precious.xxx

  11. Inés says:

    I choose all of them! (I’m not that old, I’m 21 btw)

  12. Erin says:

    The responses to this article are proving a lot of my suspicions to be correct!

  13. key says:

    how about nando?

  14. Liz says:

    WOW! Hello, never seen this stunner before xxx

  15. lulu says:

    Wow hes lovely!! dont feel bad though because im younger than him !!
    Where’s Aaron Ramsey???

  16. Molly says:

    Awww Mitch is a cutie!!! I am only two years older than he is so I don’t feel dirty lolololol :) !!!

  17. Blair says:

    Awkwardly attempting to hold back extreme laughter… unsuccessfully.

  18. truly_thata says:

    How about Sergio Canales?
    He’s Real Madrid new signing and jailbait.

    Picture: http://i42.tinypic.com/2elrrjp.jpg

    • MrsNesta says:

      Ooh yeh I'm looking forward to seeing him in his RM kit. I've been checking out hot italian Primavera's and I have to say the future's looking good :)

  19. Ali says:

    I'm 18.

    I am totally okay with it.

  20. Helena says:

    nope, a thirteen year old laaaaving niko kranjcar, bojan and mitch isn't weird at all 8-)…..

  21. C16 says:

    I'm 16 so I don't feel duurrrty at all ;)

    I take Mitch! He's so damn cute!

  22. trista_jade says:

    I'm 24, Mitch's 21…that's not bad at all ;)

  23. Alisha says:

    I'm friends with Alessandro Malomo on facebook! He is soooooo hot! Bojan is like my God….worship him, i'm 17 so it's allowed with me :L

  24. senora ramos says:

    baby bojan. even though you are blaugrana you make me think some thoughts that aren't legal. lol! soooooooo cute. soooooo young!

  25. Sara says:

    If you've got a 21 yr old in there how could you leave out 19 yr old Aaron Ramsey? And a massive YES to those who mentioned Sergio Canales. What a cutie. Come on kickette, edit so you an add those 2 in!

  26. LuvinBale says:

    Looking at these boys makes me feel like Mrs Robinson.

  27. Cheryl says:

    I'll have both the Jacks please…..I'm 18 it's fine…haha

  28. Alyy_ says:

    Boojaannn :) loveee hiiimmmmm!

  29. jess says:

    im only 16 so i dont feel bad at all ;)

  30. Linda (Gooner till I says:

    Jackie W. + Bojan = <3 :)