November 21st, 2006

baby watch: elen rives


Frank Lampard and Elen Rives are expecting a baby in June 2007.

Last year, Elen gave birth to their daughter, Luna, at the exclusive private Portland Hospital in London, by C-section.

Here’s what we’re wondering:

1. When is this dude going to make a semi-honest woman of Elen and marry her? We need, nay, we crave footy weddings like crackheads need the rock. So come on Frank, pass us the damn pipe and get married already.

2. Will Elen be going for the Portland Hospital special service, that has a catchy nickname similar to a footy film from a few years ago?

We’ll call it the MILB. Not familiar?

It’s the perfect service for those newly pregnant ladies who have to preserve their sexy by any means necessary. Because, God forbid if you were to get, you know, fat and all or whatever.

Here’s what happens: Early on in the pregnancy, surgeons remove any breast implants (so to avoid skin stretching/sagging when natural breasts increase in size). To avoid the risk of stretch marks, about a month to 6 weeks before the baby is officially due, a C-section and tummy tuck is performed, and new implants are put back in.

Or so we’ve been told.

Kinda makes you think about all those gals who have their babies early, and by C-section due to mysterious complications, and then appear bikini ready just weeks later.

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5 Responses to “baby watch: elen rives”

  1. Amy B. says:

    MILB – love it

  2. me says:

    he looks worried in that pic

  3. LoveLamps says:

    Seriously, can he stop impregnating this pathetic excuse for a woman so he can marry me?!?!  One step child is enough for me thank you very much.——-

  4. Emma says:

    Well, I think Frank could do better, but it would be good for Luna not to be a bastard. So I gues…

  5. carly says:

    uggh that is just creepy!