August 20th, 2008

Baller Bylines: Spain NT

After the amusing comments posted on the Three Lions on a Panel story, we’re happy to oblige those of you looking for a “Caption This” regular feature on Kickette.  We’re starting with a photo taken yesterday of the Spanish National Team in training prior to their game tonight against Denmark.

image

image courtesy of ZUMA PRESS/KEYSTONE PRESS

Iker Casillas: Dios mio, I’m one handsome hombre. Look at me. Everyone. Do it now.

Pepe Reina: Yes, Iker. We know. You’re a hottie. We get it.

Iker Casillas: Really, you sure about that? What about looking at me from the side?

Pepe Reina: You know, my wife and I had another baby recently. Doesn’t anyone care?

Iker Casillas: Frankly, no. Silva, have you seen my jawline lately?

David Silva: We’re all aware of your strengths in the profile area, Iker. But I can’t look right now. I’m engaged in a serious side-eye situation with Sergio.

The Ramos: Why you side-eyeing me, man? What did I do to you? What have I ever done to you?

David Silva: I don’t like the way you roll, homie. I saw the way you laced up this morning. You tied the right one first. That’s just f’d up, dude. You’re dead to me.

Iker Casillas: It’s all in the chin.  Will everyone please stop and look at my chin?  I’m like a marble statue of chiseled marble in statue form.

Daniel Güiza: I shouldn’t have had that second sangria with breakfast.

Over to you, Kickettes!

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68 Responses to “Baller Bylines: Spain NT”

  1. anfield_girl says:

    hahhahahaha can't stop laughing although I've read it like a hundred times hahahah, LOVE IT!

  2. TammyV says:

    DAMN (for those reading later I tried to type it about 10 times and it would not show up)…. ok you know how it italic or bold? it is the same thing but with a captial P insted

  3. TammyV says:

    DAMN (for those reading later I tried to type it about 10 times and it would not show up)…. ok you know how it italic or bold? it is the same thing but with a captial P insted

  4. Aurynn says:

    Hehe. Lovely captions but I do prefer Kickette’s original one. Esp the whole staring contest Serg and Silva have going on. And Yay for Sangria! lol

  5. ConnPossible says:

    The Ramos is just staring at the timer on the wall and counting the seconds until “Shirts Off O’clock”.

  6. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Nice one Kickette! Iker is looking amazing here as per usual…

  7. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    How'd you do spaces?

  8. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    How’d you do spaces?

  9. Carson says:

    Iker Casillas: Did you see Kickette this week? I mean, Roque Santa Cruz? Please! I have half a mind to call Vanessa. Pepe Reina: They put him in the Finest Five, too. It’s an outrage. Iker Casillas: Where is he from, Bolivia, or something? OK, so he’s tall. Whatever. Pepe Reina: He doesn’t even wear a hairband. Iker Casillas: Exactly! His people wear those crazy bowler hats, I think. David Silva: They wear those in Peru. Roque’s from Paraguay. The Ramos: Roque? Roque? What, you two are friends now? David Silva: Hey, he’s cool. I’d hang out with him if it meant I could get some play on Kickette. Iker Casillas: He doesn’t even have a WAG. I bet he’s gay. You want to be on Kickette? Go to a nightclub without a shirt on. Daniel Güiza: Stop talking about him! Look, Iker’s posing like Rodin’s Thinker again! Top that, pretty boy!

  10. Brandy says:

    Kickette – that is freakin' hilarious! Especially Iker and David Guiza – true classics!

  11. Janis says:

    Haha this is funny, can't wait for the game in a few hours =D

  12. Cici says:

    Clearly all the dudes are deep in thought over who has stolen the coach’s daughters ankle socks(save for the guilty party).

  13. truly_thata says:

    Evil! makes fall of my chair……:)

  14. TammyV says:

    Silva: Dude, WTF? We are still hungover from winning the EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS! GROUP Sings exhustedly: CHAMPIONIES CHAMPIONIES! YEAH Silva: What the hell do you mean we have to play again? The Ramos: So we have to go out and do it again? Do you know how long it took us to win something this time? Güiza thinks to himself: Why is he shouting? Why the hell am I awake? Where the hell am I? Xabi: Am I going to actually get to play this time? Or should I get comfy on the bench again? Seriously I used to be really good and hot and why does everyone not want me any more? Iker, in a voice reminiencent of Churchill: OK We shall rise to this challenge. I shall lead! Pepe: Go Iker and I shall sit here on my ass for another entire tournement and get all the rewards again. Fantastico!

  15. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Your captain for Guiza was spot on!!! Love the post, Kickette!!

  16. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Iker: Look at the way Pepe is laying there, he’s leaving his body totally open. Does he want a hug? Shall I hug him? He totally wants one, OK, I’m going in.

    Silva: God Iker, not everyone wants to hug you ya know? Just cos you’re tall and handsome and I’m tiny and mouselike, maybe Pepe wants ME to hug him.

    The Ramos: Zoooooooommmm!!! Wahaaay, anyone else see that bird fly past?? Coolio!!

    Xabi: I’m way too intellectual for these guys.

  17. Becca says:

    TammyV And MXA You Never Fail To Make Me Laugh! Im Still Giggling Now!! Im Just Going To Leave The Captioning To You Two From Now on. I Never Have Been Good At It Lol

  18. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Haha Ali, poor Guiza.

  19. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Haha Ali, poor Guiza.

  20. lissette13 says:

    the coach – ok guys 1 lesson. How to hot by the hot captain. Eveybody look at Iker. Iker- yeah guys look at me.

    the ramos- Where is nando

    The hot ballers national Team (aka Spain) of course leaded by the hotest captain Saint Iker Kickettes

    where is cesc, nando and bojan (the child)and the oher xavi (the Hernandez one)

    Great job Kickettes

  21. TammyV says:

    Silva: Dude, WTF? We are still hungover from winning the EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS! GROUP Sings exhustedly: CHAMPIONIES CHAMPIONIES! YEAH Silva: What the hell do you mean we have to play again? The Ramos: So we have to go out and do it again? Do you know how long it took us to win something this time? Güiza thinks to himself: Why is he shouting? Why the hell am I awake? Where the hell am I? Xabi: Am I going to actually get to play this time? Or should I get comfy on the bench again? Seriously I used to be really good and hot and why does everyone not want me any more? Iker, in a voice reminiencent of Churchill: OK We shall rise to this challenge. I shall lead! Pepe: Go Iker and I shall sit here on my ass for another entire tournement and get all the rewards again. Fantastico!

  22. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Your captain for Guiza was spot on!!! Love the post, Kickette!!

  23. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Iker: Look at the way Pepe is laying there, he’s leaving his body totally open. Does he want a hug? Shall I hug him? He totally wants one, OK, I’m going in.

    Silva: God Iker, not everyone wants to hug you ya know? Just cos you’re tall and handsome and I’m tiny and mouselike, maybe Pepe wants ME to hug him.

    The Ramos: Zoooooooommmm!!! Wahaaay, anyone else see that bird fly past?? Coolio!!

    Xabi: I’m way too intellectual for these guys.

  24. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Iker and Guiza are the only two that are really cracking me up… oh my jeez. But heres what their coach is saying. Pep: Now, who wants to hear my Al Pacino impression? "Oh ho ho. Say 'all 'oo mah leetel fron. Oh ho ho. I am ze Godfather." Alright, laugh. Very funny, yes? Next one coming up is that old guy on Good Morning, America. I forget his name. He comes before the Smuckers happy birthday. Ready?

  25. Erin says:

    ROFL! Suzie, yours below is HYSTERICAL! Very good, girls! :)

  26. Avenath says:

    OMFG!…i laughed til i cried…excellent captioning, ladies…brilliant!….hahahaha

  27. suzie says:

    pepe- we need to do something with the hair. Maybe cesc can introduce him to the joys of hair gel.
    Iker- That's it, the hair. Where is cesc?
    Xabi- Doing his hair.
    Guiza-

  28. k2k2milan says:

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Oh man! I was laughing so hard that I almost cried.
    I love the Guiza and Iker lines. Classic!
    And the Silva vs Sergio was funny too. Silva – “homie” HAHAH.
    Nice captioning bye everyone else too, I am no where in your league.

    Is it just me, or should someone chisel a grand statue of Iker like that for the whole world to appreciate?

  29. Fairings says:

    I agree. It is definitely hilarious!!! LOL

  30. lee says:

    mrsxabialonso, your comment rocks!
    xabi: i’m way too intellectual for these guys.
    that rocks!  remember his BBC interview where he started his answer with “you have to analyze…“ complete with emphatic hand gestures!  xabi… in E=mc2, what is c?  Kiss kiss! bright boy!  we loveyou!!!  get rid of your smelly-looking grandma-girlfriend!

  31. Christina says:

    IKER: I wonder if Nando’s out of the shower yet…
    XABI: Okay guys! YES? We’ve got this game in the bag! All we have to do is distract the goalkeeper long enough for Daniel to get a boot onto the ball. And that’s where you come in, Sergio!
    SERGIO: …
    XABI: Sergio? *looks at David*
    XABI: David?
    PEPE: Why are you two staring daggers at each other?
    DAVID: Sergio is a compulsive butt-grabber.
    SERGIO: VILLA WAS ASKING FOR IT! HE SAID HE WANTED ME, BADLY.
    DAVID: WELL HE TOLD ME THE SAME THING IN VALENCIA… AGAIN AND AGAIN!
    PEPE: WILL YOU TWO QUIT IT?! David Villa doesn’t want either of you. HE HAS A KID FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
    XABI: Gentlemen, please. As I was saying, Sergio, distract the keeper. Give him a good glimpse of your pectorals. Slather them in water, too. Then maybe flick your hair a little.
    SERGIO: No problem. It’s worked in the past…
    DAVID: … YOU JERK.
    DANIEL: DAMN IKER AND HIS HOT POSE. I’ve almost got it down pat—damn that Tequila!

  32. Iker: [sigh] Cesc
    Silva: Cesc cesc.
    Ramos: Cesc cesc?
    Reina: Cesccesccesccesccesc.
    Iker: Cesc. Cesc cesc cesc? Cesc cesc!
    Ramos: Cesc cesc cesc C E S C!
    Iker: Cesssssssssssc!
    Silva: Cesc
    Xabi Alonso (on the floor): Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesc.
    Guiza: Si si, where is Cesc?
    Coach-dude: Cesc.

  33. CaptionTillYouDie says:

    Coach: “listen up guys. in order to achieve supreme hotness, we must all make an effort to be more like Iker. common guys, concentrate! on 3. one, two, three!
    The Ramos and Silve: (looking at each, simultaneously thinking) “oh common, that’s a losing battle, we don’t even have a chance!
    Guiza: “here goes………………………….
    no?? well, I gave it my best”
    Iker: (thinking to himself) “E equals MC sqaure”

    did ya’ll notice that Guiza is sitting just like Iker and has his socks up to his knees just like Iker? copy cat!

  34. DebC says:

    Hilarious Kickette!  Laughing out loud with Suzie’s comment.  I do like them tall and don’t mind Torres’ gorgeous locks!

  35. suzie says:

    iker- okay guys I’m all out of ideas. How DO we get nando on the finest five.
    Xabi- We could get him to take his shirt off more.
    Iker- nah, done that already with The Ramos, we need something else.
    silva- Why nando, I wanna to be on the list.I deserve it. I NEED it.
    The Ramos- Cos the kicketts like ‘em tall, SHORTY.
    pepe- we need to do something with the hair. Maybe cesc can introduce him to the joys of hair gel.
    Iker- That’s it, the hair. Where is cesc?
    Xabi- Doing his hair.
    Guiza- ‘sighs’ I wish I was on the finest five.
    Iker- ERRRR never gonna happen.

  36. ^^K^^ says:

    Hahahaaa xP
    “I don’t like the way you roll, homie.“ xD Just trying to picture Silva saying that has got me falling of my chair :D

  37. Alex says:

    Wow. There's an astounding resemblance between G

  38. Carson says:

    Iker Casillas: Did you see Kickette this week?  I mean, Roque Santa Cruz?  Please!  I have half a mind to call Vanessa.

    Pepe Reina: They put him in the Finest Five, too.  It’s an outrage.

    Iker Casillas: Where is he from, Bolivia, or something?  OK, so he’s tall.  Whatever. 

    Pepe Reina: He doesn’t even wear a hairband.

    Iker Casillas: Exactly! His people wear those crazy bowler hats, I think.

    David Silva: They wear those in Peru.  Roque’s from Paraguay.

    The Ramos: Roque?  Roque?  What, you two are friends now?

    David Silva: Hey, he’s cool.  I’d hang out with him if it meant I could get some play on Kickette.

    Iker Casillas: He doesn’t even have a WAG.  I bet he’s gay.  You want to be on Kickette?  Go to a nightclub without a shirt on.

    Daniel G

  39. <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" /> <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" /> <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" /> <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />

    Suzie that is hilarious!!! Best one yet!!!

  40. Fer_Lahm says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH more of this, really i adore it!

  41. Rebecca says:

    This is too funny! :D More of this, Kickette!

  42. Camille says:

    Waitwaitwaitwait. The advertising hoarding behind the bench says "DONG energy", right? I really want to make a joke about Sergio's dong energy (cuz he dirty) but nothing's coming together.

  43. Smurfette says:

    hahaha! I love this. You girls are hilarious but I'm not even gonna try. :D

  44. autumnmaple101 says:

    OMG That was HILARIOUS!! Loved the little dialogues, they were so cute!! IKER CASILLAS IS ONE HOT, HOT HOT HOMBRE!

  45. gunnerbean193 says:

    Silva looks more disgusted/disappointed at Ramos. Like he wants him to be more like Iker. As for Dani Guiza, he may have had one too many…

  46. Ali says:

    ha! guys, these are all brill, kickette yours made me lol!! picking up on your silva/serg side-eye situation, i say nobody is actually thinking anything bc they are all fully engaged in Round 1 of an epic stare off battle. the ramos vs. silva, pepe vs. iker, xabi vs. black outfit dude. guiza is bummed bc he's gotten left out..like always.

  47. LynxKitten says:

    Casillas looks like 'The Thinker' in that pic. Only hotter though.

  48. MissusLGarcia says:

    That was damn hilarious!! I LOVED the Silva and Ramos hostilities….Whooo! I can't wait for the next installment!

  49. Pau de Silva (aka Sa says:

    wait! isnt that Hierro? wow! ages of not seing him!!! oh Silva! so beautiful! 5 more years with Valencia!! AMUNT!!! hey hey! MOUSELIKE??? AM ONLY AWAY FOR TWO WEEKS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! ps. Silva for FINEST FIVE!!! grr!

  50. Pau de Silva (aka Sa says:

    wow! jajajajaja actually Silva is thinking something like: "I dont like the way Pau is looking at Micheal Phelps" jajaja (ok sorry) I love the other versions too jajaja Carson, it should be something like; David Silva: They wear those in Peru. Roque’s from Paraguay DUUUUH!! love the other ones too! jajaja they made my day!! I am so happy! Mexico won their first (and probably only) gold medal today!! wiii! and Mexico plays against Honduras! so now with a way better mood I am going to start my homework!! I miss you so much Kickette and Co.!!!!!

  51. Boston Red says:

    Haha these are brilliant! I can't possibly compete with what's already been posted. The face on Silva! and it does look like Guiza has had some bad pallella!

  52. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I imagine him to be a simple man.

  53. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Thanks Tammy, still laughing at your caption too!!

  54. TammyV says:

    I loved yours… The Ramos: Zoooooooommmm!!! Wahaaay, anyone else see that bird fly past?? Coolio!! Brilliant

  55. TammyV says:

    MXA genius!

  56. Sarah says:

    Hee! I'm not as good with the captioning, so I'll leave that to the experts. Love the idea though!

  57. justlikexabi says:

    and Xabi scored 2 goals today, with a little help from Agger.

  58. azezah says:

    Hiero: Xabi, just look at the way my fingers are moving. now you will do as i tell you to!

  59. LynxKitten says:

    Oh Camille, I just didn’t notice it. DONG ENERGY!

  60. mrs jt ;) says:

    genius’s
    every single one of you.
    im leaving this to the experts. :)

  61. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I imagine him to be a simple man.

  62. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Thanks Tammy, still laughing at your caption too!!

  63. TammyV says:

    I loved yours… The Ramos: Zoooooooommmm!!! Wahaaay, anyone else see that bird fly past?? Coolio!! Brilliant

  64. TammyV says:

    MXA genius!

  65. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    wait! isnt that Hierro? wow! ages of not seing him!!! oh Silva! so beautiful! 5 more years with Valencia!! AMUNT!!! hey hey! MOUSELIKE??? AM ONLY AWAY FOR TWO WEEKS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! ps. Silva for FINEST FIVE!!! grr!

  66. Pau de Silva (aka Sambu) says:

    wow! jajajajaja actually Silva is thinking something like: "I dont like the way Pau is looking at Micheal Phelps" jajaja (ok sorry)

    I love the other versions too jajaja Carson, it should be something like; David Silva: They wear those in Peru. Roque?s from Paraguay DUUUUH!!

    love the other ones too!

    jajaja they made my day!! I am so happy! Mexico won their first (and probably only) gold medal today!! wiii! and Mexico plays against Honduras! so now with a way better mood I am going to start my homework!!

    I miss you so much Kickette and Co.!!!!!

  67. LoveLamps says:

    Love it TammyV!