November 16th, 2011
‘Ballers & Books: Fernando Torres
Clear the bookshelves, Zlatan and Pepe (and others), Chelsea’s Fernando Torres has (another?) literary masterpiece of his own coming out (again?): ‘Fernando Torres: Number 9′.
Let us put aside the stupid non-highlighted-because-I’m-growing-out-my-roots look Fernando is trying to bring back into favour and talk about the levels of hotness that were sizing us up (yeah right) at today’s autobiography presentation in Madrid.
It’s as if the further his career slips into speculation, his PR peeps jack up the life-size poster sizzle quotient by 50%. The symmetrical stare used in combo with the hair and freckles in that foreground pic? It’s the culmination of our life’s work. It is the reason we were put on this earth. And it is good. If we weren’t unilingual and proud, we would be taking nightly Spanglish classes just so we could say ‘Dios Que Hombre!‘ whilst fanning ourselves, looking heavenward at our bedroom ceilings and squealing like a bunch of idiotettes.
In other words: why by the cow when the product shill milk is fat-free?