December 15th, 2011
‘Ballers & Booze: A Very Merry Guide To The Footy Club Christmas Party Circuit
Office holiday parties. Going to any, Kickettes?
Since we already go out drinking together two to three times a week – at least – it’s safe to say we’ll probably be throwing ourselves a bash of some kind soon. Even if it’s just the half dozen of us drunkenly shouting for the corner kebab stand to open up at 2 a.m. for their “very best customers” whom they only see every other Saturday night, it’ll still count as our annual celebration.
Now footballers and their team-mates, well, they do things differently. Santa hats and costumes, for example, play a part. Charity and amateur gift wrapping could be other things found on a footy club’s itinerary. And when it comes to WAGs, it’s always a split decision if they come or stay home.
In our own experiences and observations this month alone, there’s typically three kinds of parties that get us in the Crimbo mood the most.
1. Getting Sloshed The Simple, Unsuspicious Way
Image Credit: Cavendish Press.
Manchester United and Stoke City were two teams that didn’t bother with the giant blowout kind of night, opting (or being forced by the PR department) instead for relatively harmless and wholesome guys-only fun (sort of). Skin was covered for aesthetic – not winter related – reasons and nearly all attendees were standing on two feet without supervision around the time of last call.
A collared shirt, neatly-pressed denim and a long-sleeved top tailored specifically to hug the hell out of a footballer’s forearms was the go-to uniform for these relaxed nights out.
2. Couples Rule, Singles Make Us Drool
Arsenal and AC Milan went with the ‘stilettos & style’ meme this year, encouraging their players’ partners to tag along/keep their men on a tight leash. Unattached players had to fend off paparazzi flashbulbs and wayward zippers all by themselves.
Now we’re talking!
Robin & Buchra van Persie, Mikel Arteta & Lorena Bernal and Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade were some of the tame twosomes who flooded Whiskey Misk last night only to be outdone by AC Milan’s wallet a few thousand miles away.
And where there’s no fear of a club going bankrupt, there’s photos of rich and single ‘ballers that you don’t want to miss. One after another, the Italian first team’s M.O. was to spread well dressed, warm-necked holiday joy to all those who haven’t started their holiday gift shopping yet. And if, when you’re done reading/looking at our pictures, you do decide to going on a shopping spree, it’d be nice of you to pick up something for Massimo Ambrosini’s missus, Paola, who lost part of her dress by the time the clock struck way past her Wednesday evening bedtime.
Lastly, off in Germany somewhere last week, the boys of Werder Bremen stuck to the footy powercouple mandate at their club’s shindig, although it was by far a more casual, stand, smile, step & repeat kind of occasion.
3. When all else fails, fancy dress parties don’t.
Image via Telegraph.co.uk.
Newcastle and Manchester City we’re about thrift this party season. After all, it’s unbecoming for footballers to blow too much of other people’s money getting their jiggy on.
Time’s a tickin’ for us to catch your celebrating crew out & about, Real Madrid/Chelsea/Liverpool/Barcelona/Tottenham/EveryoneElseWeMissed. If the guest list isn’t quite finished for any of these bashes, may we suggest excluding babies and noise makers from the door person’s clip board? They keep everyone on edge and inhibit the shot-taking aspect of the party.
Just a tip from one group of booze hounds to another.