May 25th, 2011
‘Ballers On Mini-Breaks Style Off: Wayne Bridge v. Cristiano Ronaldo
Let us be clear: this is, by no means, a fair fight. We didn’t intend for things to be this way, but whenever Cristiano Ronaldo assumes the right to dress himself, all hell breaks loose. Today’s affair is no different, and since we’re on a very tight schedule of not getting anything done, we’re only giving you the barest of style synopsis bones to work with.
We shall begin with the positives of Wayne Bridge’s city style and strut. He’s swinging those ripped baggy jeans HARD as he executes a questionably timed, but sufficiently successful go at his girl’s hand. We are fond, however, of his buttery leather bomber despite the outside temperatures. It doesn’t matter that he’s sweating bullets underneath that faux-luxe look, it’s all about looking good.
Right guys? Guys…?!
C-Ron, do you know what they say about people who dress like you? No style, no heart. We’d like to politely disagree on the latter of that statement, but your distinctly distasteful lack of dress sense never does our counter arguments any favours.
Is it wrong of us to interpret your ensemble as punishment for refusing to accept your Facebook friend request? As previously stated, we have images to uphold, which precludes us from adding just anyone to our prestigious circle of fashion conscious friends. And if we’re being totally honest here, your style-less lifestyle drives us to drink. Heavily.
Then again, a sober Kickette crew is a bland (and partially bloated) crew. So…maybe what we’re really trying to articulate here is just how torn up we get over every article of clothing that you own. Quite literally, due to the number of Goldschläger shots it often takes to erase the visual of your graffiti inspired trucker hats, and figuratively-speaking, thanks to your abusive relationship with expensive Italian labels.
In summary, we’re not touching this one, Kickettes. No, no, no. This is all you for a change. We insist.
Just remember to keep calm and let us know when we should pass the bottle on and we’ll all be okay.