March 21st, 2011

Belated Birthday Greetings: Fernando Torres, Chelsea FC

Image via tumblr.

Oh Fernando.

You broke many-a-Kickette hearts (Liverpool Corps) when you left their fragrant shores for the Roman Republic of Chelsea. You’ve generously allowed lazy hacks to put their feet up and post stories about your failure to score since you arrived.


You’ve even withheld access to photographic evidence of your greatest achievement in the last twelve months, although we realise this is probably to the benefit of our own health. Somehow, through it all, no matter what you (or your hair) are doing, we still love you just the same.

So does Olalla, obviously.

Happy Birthday for yesterday, Nandina. We hope you continue to drive carefully; there may be precious cargo in the backseat that we can’t see (damn you).

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70 Responses to “Belated Birthday Greetings: Fernando Torres, Chelsea FC”

  1. kristina says:

    Happy b/day my man !!! U r the best ! The finest one

  2. Doug says:

    Happy belated Nando. All us good Chelsea fans know you scored against ManU and we're just not worried about it anymore. You've been great.

  3. Mumtaz says:

    Can't believe now he's 27! First time I saw him, he was just 20. Happy bday, nando! Great year, best luck! I've been waitin for ur first goal at Chelsea!

  4. Marose says:

    Happy birthday Nando! I will always support you!

  5. jelena says:

    i will never ever understand people calling him a traitor. liverpool fans were burning his jersey even before the transfer news were made public, which means they didn´t even give him the benefit of the doubt! granted, that is the minority of liverpool fans (i hope, at least!), but even those who didn´t do it out of the respect to the crest found joy in watching the name of a man who was a hero 5 minutes ago burn to ashes. even stevie once considered leaving liverpool but no one even remembers that. cause he´s stevie. scouse born and raised. and those horrible things he said about liverpool! geez.. he never said he was at a BIGGER club now, just at the big club who is constantly fighting for titles and now he can do the same. and we don´t know what went on behind closed doors and why the atmosphere wasn´t right for him. but the media is certainly doing their best with the headlines and taking words out of context and people rarely even bother to read the whole story.

    • jelena says:

      everybody just clings to the price tag as if he set the price for himself and overestimated himself cause he can´t score a goal.. someone believed in him. i can´t even imagine what it must be like to take what you thought was the best decision of your life only to have the whole world turn against you. and you say he didn´t even say goodbye. i think he´s lucky to have gotten out of liverpool alive. and the part that hurts me the most is that he won´t be able to one day take his babies by their hands, enter anfield and say – here is where i made history. here is where i loved and was loved. and i did it for you to be proud. for whatever you think he did, i think that´s punishment, i really didn´t mean to make it so long, but after two months still seeing all the hate and fernando-who on my screen i just felt the need to pour my soul out. and to whom better than kickettes? :) thanx for reading.

      • Coco says:

        You are so right girl! You made me cry…once more!

      • Lily says:

        Oh honey, if I could give you a hug I would. As a Liverpool fan I was heartbroken when he left, but it hurts me to think of what happened in the wake of his departure- the shirt-burning, death threats and all. I will never support Chelsea, but I still want HIM to do well, like you.

        And Kickette will always be here when you want to pour your heart out!

  6. Ida says:

    eeew do not even want to think about that tbh

  7. Leaaa says:

    27 already! My how he's grown, it seems like only yesterday I fell in love with his mullet at Euro 2004

  8. Leaaa says:


  9. beri says:

    Happy Birthday to the ONLY blue I would admit to having a crush on!!! Happy Birthday Nando…here's hoping you live to see many more! Awww…at least he got a win on his birthday! Btw…looking good Mrs. Torres…Olalla just keeps looking better and better!

  10. striker9 says:

    olalla looks awesome!
    happy belated b-day nando….

  11. Nando y Geri 4ever says:

    Wasn't it just yesterday that he was playing in the Euro Cup of '04 and WC of '06? Now has 2 precious children (one of which we have yet to see)? Oh, Happy Birthday Fernando!!

  12. nandosfreckles says:

    I know i would've hahah

  13. Femz17 says:

    Happy Birthday Nando!!!

    Omg Olalla look absolutely gorge. Love her.

  14. Eli_aka_NC says:

    I was thinking the same thing, haha

  15. Crackers says:

    You look the words right out of my mind, lady! Well said!

    Yes, it hurts that he left because we loved him so, but I'd like to believe we Reds still wish him well.

  16. Kelly says:

    I just dont think he is very cute. I am not even a Liverpool fan but yeah I dont understand his appeal. :(

  17. Leya_S says:

    Happy Birthday Fern!
    He's 27 now?! o_O
    I remember when he was just a beh-beh and I fell in love with him at the '06 World Cup!! (Where does the time go?)
    But he'll always be El Niño!!!

    • Crackers says:

      I know, time REALLY flies, right? He wasn't even at Liverpool that World Cup!

      And I have that same reaction to the idea that Fernando Torres is twenty-seven now, AND a father of two….he still looks like a teenager, my bébé!

  18. KeyD, says:

    Happy bday Nando!! btw im starting to have doubts about Leos existence! i think u lied to us about olallas being pregnant! anyway, wish we could see Leo and Norita some day! *sigh*…

  19. xbabyshakesx says:

    Happy Bday Nando
    you are loved and I wish you all the best!

  20. xoWinnie says:

    you know what this means, don't ya'll?

    THIS MEANS: Sergio's birthday is only a few short days away!

    lol anyways, back to the topic: happy birthday Nando.
    i hope the goal-drought is now over
    and that you will be able to soon score for Chelsea.

    • Crackers says:

      *giggles* I wonder if Sernando will consider a joint celebration?

      They're practically fated to be, they even came thisclose to sharing a birthday and all :)

  21. bex says:

    god i love nando even if he hasn't scored for us yet!..and of course he'd eventually leave 'fragrant' liverpool! god any would :/..and a team going nowhere anytime soon :) happy days….

    • Iker'sMyMan says:

      i thumbed down for that dig on Liverpool. next season. we'll 'ave ya!

      • Yeah what was that dig all about? Chelsea isn't doing much better aren't they? Torres was a big part of the problem at Liverpool. He was sulking and it rubbed off on some of the other players. He wasn't acting a pro and played his part in the team. The new owner John W Henry said this the other day " Someone said that the players weren't happy, now that someone left, and the players are happier" Wonder who he was talking about?

  22. IheartSpain says:

    Happy Birthday Fernando! I'm proud of you for not giving up, keep looking ahead to your good moments. FT#9 to shine in Euro 2012.

  23. Jen says:

    Happy Birthday Nando! You may have broken my heart(along with lots of other Reds), but I still wish you a good day!! Let's see that baby…..who has my same birthday, so I can't be too mad at you Nando

  24. balicious says:

    Happy B-Day, Nando (not Nandina, not that cool)

  25. missfootie says:

    Happy Birthday mr t still gorgeous as always!!! Pleas get out of yur drought soon(i'm sure you will!) all hail el nino!! :)

  26. cyanidesue says:

    Fragrant – what a nice word for such a smelly place.

  27. Crackers says:

    Hey who's going around thumbing down people's comments wishing Nando good luck, or even just for his birthday? It's not in the spirit of Kickette to thumb down positive comments :(

  28. kel says:

    This may be the frst time I've ever seen Olalla looking actually happy. I think she's talking/smiling to the kids and nanny in the back

  29. Coco says:

    Oh birthday boy, as someone already pointed out here, it has become trendy to hate you. So, you really should take your family out to the park. A little bit of daddy snuggling with his two freckled cuties and playing together in the sandbox, all in front of some camera lenses, and all the hearts will melt in a minute; your massive image problem will be over immediately. Please Nando, it's so easy!
    Also: the blue kit is bad enough. blue hairband? No, just no!!!

    • Crackers says:

      I don't think he wants any pap pics of either of his bubbas out there, Kickette has had to take down all the ones they had of Nora so I'm not hopeful of getting to see Leo. It might get a few nice pics if he did take them out, but he sounds like a protective (which is GOOD for the kids) father who'd sic lawyers on anyone who tried to photograph his children (which is bad for all Kickettes who want pics of baby Leo and a growing baby Nora).

  30. rubyqueen says:

    i wonder if steven sent him a card or popped out of the cake.??:)

    • elylovesfootball says:

      Lol very funny! i just pictured in my head the scene of Steven popping out from a big cake in front of Nando and started laughing out loud for like 10 minutes!!

  31. JA7 says:

    It's still taking me some time seeing u at chelsea in a bluee kit, but nevertheless happy belated birrrssdaaay El Nino :) They look like such a lovely down to earth couple! Ollala looks gorgeous btw!!

  32. Crackers says:

    PS: Kickettes, more pics of Nando and O out for his birthday here! (she looks v. happy and v. pretty, and he looks babyfaced as ever)

  33. *Sunshine* says:

    Happy Birthday to my favourite freckly boy ♥
    You will score soon, Nando, you will do it!!

  34. Crackers says:

    Happy birthday, dear Nando! I hope you find your feet again, even if we had to retire the Armband Song and your bitchface has scared paps away from your son which means we never get to see him.

    (I can't hate him, I really can't. The Freckled One has my good wishes for his future, even if it's not in the Liverpool Corner of Kickette Island. It's not his fault his price tag was so high, unless we want to blame him for playing so well for Liverpool, which would just be absurd. But I hate to see a player as talented as him in a slump, at just 27 he's entering his prime footballing years and it's unfair to write him off)

    PS: On a side note- the pic is blurry but from what I can see, Olalla's hair looks FANTASTIC.

  35. nandosfreckles says:

    Yeah, I'd have a beaming smile on my face just like Olalla if I was in the same car as Nando who would just happen to be my husband and we'd have two cute little kids together.

    Not to mention she probably had a birthday surprise waiting for him.


    • Crackers says:

      LOL, you just know they went home and got some (more) nookie ;)

      And who can blame her- if I were married to Fern, I'd have a 'birthday surprise' planned too!

      • Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

        A thought just popped into my head i think she was smiling because she knew NANDO would be in his 'BIRTHDAY SUIT' LOL

  36. IrishBlue says:

    Awh happy burfday Nando! Olalla is looking beautiful in that pic by the way.

  37. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    Nando A.K.A. The fallen Angel of Liverpool, My eyes are still adjusting to him wearing the blue kit, the poor sod needs to score a goal to get the monkey of his back. The price tag is HUGE but it's not his fault Abrahmivic (sp?) was willing to pay that much money for our Fernando (yes, as an arsenal fan I have a soft spot for nando lol), afterall football sometimes is a shady business.

    So Happy Belated Birthday Nando, and i think we all know why Olalla is smiling about, she's probably got some 'grown up' things planned at home *wink wink*

  38. Eleanor says:

    His wife is so so cute.

  39. mochara says:

    They have such a beautiful family, Nando seems to be a really down to earth guy, me likey <3

  40. diana says:

    Alessandro Nesta also had a birthday on saturday urggg

  41. Leah says:

    I was starting to worry his birthday would go unmentioned…. I have been an avid Kickette follower for a long time, but I've never felt compelled to post until now. I was one of the many many fans devastated when Torres left Liverpool, but I'm tired of everyone bashing him for wanting a new challenge. Making career moves is an everyday thing. Sure, when an athlete gets a new job, he's not the only one affected, but he shouldn't be hated for doing what he thought was best for him and his family.
    Happy Birthday, Fernando!!

    • You hit the nail right on the head Leah. And i don't think Torres was a betrayer either, after all he is not a Liverpool youth product, he joined from another team and i am sure Athleti fans have forgiven hi for leaving them so i just hope Liverpool supporters will understand that needed a new Challenge

      • Crackers says:

        Yes he wasn't one of the youth team, but he was still much more than "just a player" to Liverpool fans, and we loved him like he was one of our own which is why it hurt when he made the move to Chelsea so suddenly. And most if not all of us do understand that he wanted a new professional challenge, it's just that it hurts that he had to leave Liverpool for it. We still wish him the best and a happy birthday though.

        And yes, if Atleti fans, to whom he was practically a son, in a club he'd been a fan of since childhood, could learn to let him go (and back in '07 they were not happy about losing Fern to Liverpool either despite the fact that he'd been in their first team for six years by that point), we can learn the same too.

      • Ginny says:

        I love Fern very much, and I don't like bashing him cos it makes me upset. I miss him in Liverpool, so maybe I'm a tad bit biased. But he IS a traitor. It doesn't matter if he wasn't a Liverpool youth product. Indeed, what has that got to do with it? Loyalty is loyalty. And he swore it to Liverpool then dumped us as if we didn't even matter. There wasn't even a proper goodbye from him. So I don't care if people say I'm living in the past, or being unfair or whatever. The way he continues to bash Liverpool, despite having left, means he is too. And all of this doesn't mean I'm not a fan either. I'm sick of people acting as if you're not loyal to him if you continue to be angry with him. Cos believe me, after he left it was a complete reality check. I'd always had a completely different idea of him. And yet I'm still a fan (though I'm not about to preach to his former fans who now resent him–I understand their feelings). But anyways, I'm still grateful to him for what he did for Liverpool. And I'll always support him (but not Chelsea).

  42. Summer says:

    Can't forget you, can forgive you, can miss you once again. I know that although all that is happened and happens, although all that you has become and will become, you will remain forever our Nino. I could never forget you and what you has been like at the first Liverpool fan and after I couldn't forget the happiness that I felt when he became one of us. Now I have expressed my desire about you and your future because if I could see again the fantastic player that you was, I think that I could believe again that there you have still something to give to the part of the world that loves you. I hope that will be possible to save something of you, I wish. Happy Birthday and I can't thank you enough Nando because I grew up with you and my love for football is because of you.

  43. jelena says:

    now you´re talking :)

  44. Maria says:

    when will i get to see a picture of the beautiful family all together…. I guess I have to wait for the summer…. hopefully they do play dates with David Villa or Pepe Reina…. now that will be a great picture…..

    happy belated b-day Fernando…