June 1st, 2009

…The Continental: Welcome To Boys Week

image

Well hello there.

I see you’ve caught me standing here and casually leaning against this…thing. I am The Berba.

You might remember me from such places as: under your bed, hiding in your closet with a video camera, or the man in scuba gear waiting for you in your bathtub.

I heard there were many, many gorgeous ladies here at Kickette, so I have come to offer you all a chance to get drunk on the Berbahol. Ha-HA! This is a very special week, you see. When I first arrived here, I used my Berba-charm on the lovely chickadees that usually run this site. But they could not handle my intense Berbosity and made up excuses about me smelling like feet and raccoons before going away to recover from our encounter.

So, we will be having what they call a “Boys Week” – and I call a “Berba Week” — where the men of some of your other favorite football blogs, including my friends from Dirty Tackle, will take over.

There will be a lot of lads passing through to entertain you Kickettes this week, but please, remember that The Berba loves you the most…and, he is the only one willing to express that love by doing bizarre and vaguely erotic things to your ankles.

And with that thought now dancing in your head, I will give you some very special tips on how to attract a famous, sexy, widow’s peaked, and beard-stubbled footballer. Like me. Ha-HA! Let’s begin:

1. Don’t call the police immediately – women I meet often do this and it is very unattractive. Although I am still very willing to spend minutes of pleasure with them after they call the police, the officers are never willing to give me the time do so. Even when I offer to let them watch.

2. Mace is not erotic – although many of my beauties seem to think it is fun to scream and spray this directly into my eyes when I try to kiss their arm pits – which is a secret erogenous zone that only The Berba knows about – it actually hurts quite a bit. But I am starting to develop an immunity.

3. Do not be frightened by Timitar – he is my cousin and he is mostly harmless. Sometimes. Maybe. Either way, Dimitar and Timitar Berbatov do everything together. We also videotape it and watch it back later in our tree house.

4. Be yourself – just relax and be the beautiful Berba-babe that you are. Be very sure you are relaxed enough to not do any of the previous three things, though. I suggest taking roofies to achieve this. If you don’t have any, don’t worry. I do.

5. I thought I told you not to call the police?! – oh-OHHH! The police are coming and I don’t think it’s for one of my special tea parties. Please don’t tell them the secrets I’ve told you here. They can never get out. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Timitar and I have to run very fast. But rest assured, we will return! And we will see you naked…

Dimitar Berbatov’s welcome message is brought to you from the always entertaining, always disturbing boys at Dirty Tackle. Want more of The Continental’s point-of-view on life and love? Make sure you check out his take on Kiko Macheda, and… his pinky toe.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

57 Responses to “…The Continental: Welcome To Boys Week”

  1. FirstTeamCoach says:

    This week is going to be 'interesting' and I am looking forward to what else the boys can do to entertain us ladies! I will say thanks for the sizzling pic of Mitko *fans self* [clicks and saves]

  2. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    LOL LOL LOL Oh hell, I hope they know what they've let themselves in for.

  3. c9 says:

    I<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> had<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> to<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> read<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> it<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> again!<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> That<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> was<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> just<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> to<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> classic,<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> many<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> thanks<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> DT<SPAN class="wbr"></SPAN> Boys!

  4. c9 says:

    OMG! That was so damn hilarious, LOL !!!!

  5. Berbie's Barbie says:

    OMG..This is the funniest thing i've never read!!! And the Berbie pic is melting my heart!

  6. Malin ("MrsFern says:

    *speeds in, oozing of perfume and hairpsray, applying her lipgloss* The Dirty Tackle boys are here? Sweet Jesus! *drapes herself over a sofa and flutters eyelashes* Hello boys!

  7. Jelly says:

    oh he is delicious lol

  8. carly says:

    This is working for me. Well, anything with Berba pictured (or materialised) works for me…

  9. Malin ("MrsFernandoTorres", if I may) says:

    *speeds in, oozing of perfume and hairpsray, applying her lipgloss* The Dirty Tackle boys are here? Sweet Jesus! *drapes herself over a sofa and flutters eyelashes* Hello boys!

  10. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    The amount of variations on the name Berbatov is impressive

  11. carly says:

    This is working for me. Well, anything with Berba pictured (or materialised) works for me…

  12. Mrs.De Rossi says:

    The boys taking over kickette? It is only okay if they continue to bring the goods, Berba is a good start

  13. Mel (Mrs. Pique, the says:

    I'm anxious already to see what will happen during boys week. I find Berba… erm… disturbing, and not in a good way (if there is a good way to disturbing, you know.)

  14. Lola says:

    Boys ruling Kickette!! An amzing idea, I thoroughly approve :)

    The Continental, creeps me out a little bit, but "doing bizarre and vaguely erotic things to your ankles" sounds strangely appealing.

  15. kenita says:

    hello boys, great way to start, with berba, mmmm

  16. Hester_Brazil says:

    Oh…I looooove him…his eyes are perfect….

  17. doesyourmotherknow says:

    OH SNAP. I hope we get some of artur and his rage too.

  18. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    *rubs hands together in anticipation* Oh this is going to be a good week.

  19. Rebecca says:

    Hahaha, omg: Well hello there – I see you’ve caught me standing here and casually leaning against this…thing made me laugh so much. Maybe because I’ve been prisoned at home for three days now (being sick sucks), but oh my I laughed.

    Bring it on, boys!

  20. dkcx3cesc says:

    bring it on, berbaman

  21. Pingu says:

    lmao ok

  22. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    LOL LOL LOL Oh hell, I hope they know what they've let themselves in for.

  23. FootballerChick43 - says:

    LMFAO! This is great! Have a feeling I'm going to be in tears of laughter all week. I really like this idea… lets see if the boys can make us laugh as much as Kickette :)

  24. Tuxedo says:

    I heard there were many, many gorgeous ladies here at Kickette, so I have come to offer you all a chance to get drunk on the Berbahol. Ha-HA! This is a very special week, you see. When I first arrived here, I used my Berba-charm on the lovely chickadees that usually run this site.

  25. nikki says:

    sorry doll ….I hate berba and manchester united

  26. Joanne says:

    Someone pass me the Berbahol.

  27. Rusty says:

    ooh, this should be fun. I adore Dirty Tackle!

    *says Berba-babe five times fast and her tongue falls out*

  28. Lolinha says:

    OMG! What the hell! This is fabulous! Guys objectifying hot players for us?! Mother of all that is good and holy I'm in heaven. I almost croaked when I saw the Berba on the first page. Love him and his Berbautiful widow's peak! :) BTW the Continental can go completely Berbarian with moi anytime. LOL Excuse me now, I have to go and light a candle and say a little thank you to San Iker. P.S. I doubt even Timitar could handle the raging Berba-mania happening in the Dimi thread. Welcome boys, fasten your seat belts and get your therapists on speed dial 'cause things have been known to get mondo pervy around here ;)

  29. jessicaxlofc says:

    Berbalicious! x

  30. The Fourth Official says:

    I<span class="wbr"></span> really<span class="wbr"></span> do<span class="wbr"></span> prefer<span class="wbr"></span> the<span class="wbr"></span> blue<span class="wbr"></span> to<span class="wbr"></span> the<span class="wbr"></span><span class="wbr"></span> pink.<span class="wbr"></span> <img src="http://staticak.fluxstatic.com/-/Clients/Common/Img/RTE/smiley/alpha/embarassed.gif&quot; alt="embarassed" title="embarassed" width="16" height="16"> <span class="wbr"></span> Looking<span class="wbr"></span> forward<span class="wbr"></span> to<span class="wbr"></span> the<span class="wbr"></span> week! <span class="wbr"></span> And,<span class="wbr"></span> um,<span class="wbr"></span> it's<span class="wbr"></span> KIKO,<span class="wbr"></span> not<span class="wbr"></span> KIKI.<span class="wbr"></span> <img src="http://staticak.fluxstatic.com/-/Clients/Common/Img/RTE/smiley/alpha/embarassed.gif&quot; alt="embarassed" title="embarassed" width="16" height="16"> ROFL! Just noticed that the little graphics changed too. Cute!

  31. HiL says:

    Timitar! lmao! LOL great post, The Berba :]

  32. iloveManUtd says:

    love him he is well fit :p

  33. Candide says:

    yay!!! the Dirty Tackle boys! I almost fainted when I saw "The Continental" on the main page. I can't wait for the rest of the week… and I agree with Steph. The number of variations of Berbatov is quite impressive :)

  34. Vanny17* says:

    LOL – this berba-babe definitely loves you guys, boys week yaaay!

  35. Becca says:

    This week is going to be ermmm…. eventful! But im up for itt!!

  36. Kahtilyn13 says:

    God he is beautiful! His eyes drive me crazy!

  37. Venice says:

    I'm fully prepared to be swept off my feet.(Yes I have reasonable expectations, like girls do anyway LOL)

  38. Boston Red says:

    Oh dear.. LOL I always did think he was a little creepy. I'm looking forward to seeing what the men can produce here.

  39. sarabee says:

    Hi boys! *winks*

  40. TammyV says:

    This will be cute for a week… but the point of Kickette is that the ladies get their say, free from boy judgement.

  41. Avenath says:

    Awesome, Dirty Tackle!…brilliant as ever…hahahahaha

  42. linz826 says:

    i agree…this is gonna be a very good week! :D

  43. Alphie says:

    shear comedy! can’t wait for more

  44. Missy says:

    Oh sweet Lord….boys taking over kickette!!! starting with berba. I don’t know whether to say hang on boys or hang on ladies.

  45. RedHeart says:

    LOL @ the welcome message. Boys taking over Kickette? I’m looking forward to what this week may bring!

  46. ^^K^^ says:

    Berba-hol? :D I want some of that!

  47. trojanette21 says:

    Oh the Berba…I love it!

  48. 'TorresNubianQueen' says:

    Am really liking the blue colour ;-) and am looking forward to this…BIG TIME!

  49. Dreamgirl says:

    Oh Dimi,this is not going to help clear up all the misconceptons that are circulating about you. But don’t worry, you know where to run to when it becomes all too much.

    I’ll reserve judgement on the boy’s capabilities until further evidence is submitted.

  50. aristeia says:

    Forget Berba, NO ONE is sexier than the Dirty Tackle boys.

    I expect Artur to make an appearance, yes?

  51. Callie says:

    The Continental is WIN!!!

  52. Beth says:

    lol, this is a genius idea!! Can’t wait to see what else they come up with :D

  53. boo says:

    uuuuuuuuu.. this sounds 27648723 shades of fun! bring it!

  54. mrs jt ;) says:

    ooo this should be goood ;)
    its not gonna be easy to keep us entertained!
    xx

  55. sarabee says:

    Hi boys! *winks*

  56. TammyV says:

    This will be cute for a week… but the point of Kickette is that the ladies get their say, free from boy judgement.

  57. Sarah says:

    Hahahaha oh man the Continental on Kickette! Brilliant.