September 30th, 2010

Catalogue Boy Style Off: Arsenal v Bayern Munich

Pictures via ontd_fb

Kickettes, you know how much we love it when our fave ‘ballers get their model on. It’s our happy place that exists somewhere between short tents and short queues at the local off-license.

And nothing soothes the soul (or stimulates the lulz) quite like a club catalogue. Featuring the finest collections of man-flesh from the teams in question, we’ve discovered that club merchandise books usually go in two distinct directions;

1) The ‘baller does the hot robot to perfection, elegantly documented by Thomas Vermaelen (far left) or instead offers up a smart line in sultry brooding stare à la Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey, both of which make us simultaneously weak at the knee joint, and willing to buy even the most heinous of club-related swag.

2) The ‘baller attempts the hot robot or sultry brooding stare, and instead achieves something else entirely, as is the case with Bayern Munich’s Holger Badstuber (inner left), who appears to be channelling the ‘emo stare of abject pain’ look, or Thomas Muller’s attempt at Derek Zoolander-esque ‘Blue Steel’. Bless. While this approach lacks the swoonfactor of the previous technique, we can’t help but admit that footballer model FAIL is completely adorable.

So Kickettes, do you prefer your merch-models brooding-fabulous as is the case with Arsenal’s army of hawt, or Bayern Munich endearingly awkward-cute?

If you need more comprehensive evidence of footballer posings in order to make up your mind you can view the online catalogue for Arsenal here, and Bayern’s here.

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56 Responses to “Catalogue Boy Style Off: Arsenal v Bayern Munich”

  1. woop says:

    lol Thomas Muller pedo face

  2. aninjasdream says:

    Robin Van Persie for D.I.L.F. of the decade! Who else agrees?

  3. Valerie says:

    Bayern all the way! They're gorgeous, and don't take themselves too seriously! It's such a fun catalogue to look through, always puts a smile on my face.

    Also, what other team gives you a toaster which brands its logo on your bread?

  4. Steph says:

    Aaron looks good, but Van Persie. OMG. He is looking good in that pic! And is it just me, or does he look way better with some stubble on him? :P

  5. @AgnesWonka says:

    I prefer Arsenal's catalogue, they look by far cooler!!!

  6. fieryheart says:

    I prefer Bayern Munich's.
    That Thomas Mueller picture just did it for me.
    He looks so adorable yet a bit creepy at the same time .
    And since I have a crush on Holger Badstuber, I've gotten used to the ‘emo stare of abject pain’ look :)

  7. Sharon says:

    Oh, Arsenal all the way!! The boys are lookin’ fly as f***

    the merch is pretty decent too.

  8. My Arsenal catalogue arrived yesterday, the pictures look even better seeing them up close ;)

  9. Eebza says:

    next to van persie it says 'FREE UK DELIVARY'
    then im definitely ordering me some robin.

  10. Sake-chan says:

    BWAHAHA seriously Holger looks like someone has stolen his redcurrentjuice lmao!
    my vote definitely goes to Bayern München – I absolutely adore their dorkishness!

  11. Stacey Marie says:

    ARSENAL WINS!!! What a bunch of nice looking guys!! RVP SOOOO CUTE!!!

  12. DutchGooner89 says:

    Omg can the Arsenal boys BE any more gorgeous seriously….I'll buy all the merchandise with the BALLERS rocking them *wink wink*

  13. anja says:

    uuhh wow, thomas vermaelen!! I would buy everything from you, verma :D

  14. Izzy says:

    MMMMM Arsenal! Aaron Ramsey YUM but im missing Cesc!

  15. bumbleduckie says:

    Yeah, well, I'm a Bayern gal so of course the endearingly awkward, hahahaa!!!

  16. Emme says:

    If I could order RVP from the Arsenal catalogue, I would totally choose theirs, but since I can't, I am going to say Bayern Muenchen. The catalogue just brought the LOLs. Their coach even modeled! The photos are absurd – Mark v. Bommel doing the 'I'll call you sign' with his hand & also with his head popping out from the teddy bears. The merchandise is absurd – the eggplant colored women's velour tracksuit…egads, whose idea was that?

  17. EternalDreamer says:

    Wow. FC Bayern's catalog includes loads of random stuff – toaster so your toast can have the team's logo!

  18. Says_Who says:

    Am I the only one who was completely put off by Bayern Munich's catalogue? I understand that they have to make some money for their club through merchandise. However, slapping your name and logo on a toaster and that weird ceramic elf thing crosses into the land of the slightly excessive. On a positive note, RVP looks absolutely gorgeous in that V-neck sweater! Maroon is definitely his colour!

  19. Rusty (Mrs Fritz) says:

    Mmm…Holgi's emo stare of abject pain. And OMG those lips…

    Both catalogues are equally hilarious.

  20. annbug says:

    Arsenal, so sexy that it hurts.

  21. Zinny says:

    Now all we need is for Cesc to do a naked centerfold. Please?

  22. IrishBlue says:

    Im not normally a van persie girl but man he looks good in this! I must say i am very partial to a bit of aaron ramsey…mmmm yummy….hes still a baby but hey im not that much older :D

  23. blake2108 says:

    Aaron Ramsey is my third hottest footballer ever, He looks great in the modelling shots.

    Love him :)

  24. aps says:

    Definitely the Arsenal boys. Van Bommel can't convince me to buy anything he's' endorsing whether he's smiling or not.

  25. AleraGriffin says:

    Thomas looks really creepy! and yet adorable like the transition between wondering if your kisses taste like strawberries and considering what human flesh tastes like

  26. CarmenFoxe says:

    DAMN Van Persie! He always has that look in his eyes!

  27. Deanna says:

    Arsenal hands down, But where are the pics of Cesc?! Seriously! He didn't model any of it and he's the captain. :/

  28. Valentina says:

    so i only live a 10 min walk from the bayern training ground and when i was clickling through both catalogues my brain kept thinking: damn, i really need to move. i will order either mr.arsenal on page 21 or mr.arsenal on page 27.

  29. gin_in_teacups says:

    Ok, that photo of Thomas Muller's blue steel attempt is going to give me nightmares, while simultaneously making my nether regions feel tingly. I really don't think I like the combination of creeped out/turned on.

    For hotness it's gotta be Arsenal. Vermaelen alone puts them ahead in that competition. But Bayern has more women's stuff. Stuff I would actually wear. Maybe not the purple velour tracksuit, but the read winter jacket – sure.

  30. Kristina says:

    Aaron Ramsey is just not being fair. I don't even like Arsenal, or 19 year olds.

  31. SylviaC1 says:

    Awww..!! Thomas Muller is so cute..! his first pic is so sweet and innocent..smiling and cute..! Then in the next one…he's like…-_^ …..(in deep voice) well…hurlloo there ^^

  32. SoccerLoverrrr says:


  33. littlegirl says:

    well…i browsed carefully the catalogues…i think i'm going to order "Robin Van Persie with northdume v neck & benwell polo", page 20 of the Arsenal catalogue.

  34. BarceLisa says:

    omg the Bayern boys for me, hands down. I love that they are grinning in some of the pictures. They looked natural, like they were genuinely having fun. The Arsenal players looked a little like they didn't want to be there. lol that one of Thomas Muller is now my screensaver. How did Bayern ever manage to convince Uli Hoeness to pose? Also, I didn't like that much the lighting in the Arsenal catalogue, too much shadow on their beautiful faces. Kudos to both clubs' merchandise departments, their gear is amazing!

  35. Leya_S says:

    Arsenal!!!! Everyone looks so hot!
    Omg, Marouane Chamakh and his dark, brooding……….buzzard cut….swoon, haha
    Actually, Vermaelen's hoodie on pg. 22 is freaking hot.

    Bayern's catalogue is just funny! I love it! Mark van Bommel's grin in every picture is awesome.
    Also, Mario Gomez = HOT.

    • def says:


      i know….it's a crime!! put my captain on the catalogue please…….

  36. DeeRoma says:

    All I needed to see was that RVP picture. Arsenal has my vote.

  37. jellenp says:

    OMG, they are even putting that faux mohawk hair do on the little ones (Arsenal 42-43). Please, please spare the children, take pity on their innocence!!!

  38. Sara says:

    I feel blessed to be a supporter of such a wonderful looking team.

  39. Sara says:

    You have to see that Vermaelen picture in full screen with the zoom on. I can NOT stop looking at it.

  40. Lynx says:

    Bayern Boys for me! I love the way Mueller's trying to work a bad boy look :P

  41. MrsNesta says:

    Are my lovely Arsenal boys, its got to be them, and I think Vermaelen is almost smiling, what a turn on lol. And Aaron, well I just want to hug him and maybe some other stuff (ooh need to add them to my back-up plan) xx

  42. Aww Aaron is so hot. I wanna make him my boy toy!

  43. Cesc' Mia says:

    Oh, RVP!!! We Miss you so much!!
    I think he does a lot more modeling now than playing,, hahahaha
    He's been injured Waaaaaaaay too long!!
    We want him back!!!!

  44. hereforthenando says:

    I laughed my ass off when I saw the Bayern Munich catalogue pictures.

    This picture is obviously enough to put Bayern over the top:…

  45. YouNeverWalkAlone says:

    Arseennnnaallll! haha, Go Gunners! (Hey they have Cescy and Robin van Persie. What more could you ask for?)

    Although now that I think about it, it's kind of hard to decide since FC Bayern Munich has PHILIPP LAHM.
    Ah, Kickette, why must you make things so difficult?

    LOL I must point out that i put up the first comment! yay me!