'Ballers on Breaks' Category

Sergio Ramos: Step Away From The Stretch Pants


As for Sergio, my, what a big hose he has. Image: @SergioRamos.

Pink lycra: for students of dance, not men approaching 30.

Sorry amigo de Sergio.

Wayne & Coleen Rooney: Rodeo Drive Roadtrip


The Rooneys have been on holiday in LA for the past week and this appears to be Coleen’s first holy pilgrimage to Rodeo Drive, the be all and end all of luxury shopping. In this photo we are imagining that Coleen has spotted Chanel for the first time and Wayne’s look of terror says it all. Like Col’s Alice + Olivia maxi? As do we.

Radamel Falcao Garcia: Work ‘Em, Don’t Hurt ‘Em


The Atlético Madrid player and his wife, Lorelei Dahiana Taron, on the beach in Florida, 04.07.2012.

Radamel Falcao is in Miami this week, doing what he does better than anyone else: larking about shirtless.

Be advised, if you stare at that rather ridunkulous dip in his torso for more than 30 seconds at a time, you may permanently affect your ability to walk upright or have a relationship with a normal mortal.

Cristiano Ronaldo Jr: Nearly Ready For His Run-Out – UPDATED


UPDATE: More adorable holiday photos of CR SR and CR JR that’s making the butterflies in our tummies do flips.

Not sure if anyone has been keeping track of the movements of little CR JR, but he’s quite the globe trotter. Earlier this week he was running errands with Grandma Dolores in Lisbon, and now he’s busy being toted around St Tropez while on holiday with his extended family.

A note to C-Ron’s son: Kudos on the cuteness, kiddo, you clearly have that down pat. But on the reals, now that you’ve got two years of life under your mini Gucci belt, it’ll be maybe four or five more months before the family will expect you to put those little bones that haven’t fully fused yet to work on the pitch. Better start warming up.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


Steven Gerrard (his abdominals – holler) and his wife of five years, Alex, spent the weekend partying it up at the Encore Hotel’s pool in Las Vegas. Images: Daily Mail.

We’ve had an epiphany, dear readers: all the mocking and wondrous delight we take in fash-bashing Alex has been a terrible, childish mistake.

We need her and her WAGtastic ways. We couldn’t make it through the dark days of the well dressed and the modest without this woman. With so few things in this world that are dependable, Alex has always come through for us, waving the WAG flag of orange skin, French manicured falsies and teflon hair-do’s consistently and reliably.

Not many out there have this skill, and it’s time we recognise this.