'Ballers on Breaks' Category

Where’s Sergio? Tracking the Elusive Off-Season Ramos

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Footballer break season has been underway for some time, and whilst we’ve certainly enjoyed the onslaught of holiday photos, we have felt rather deprived from visions of metallic swim trunks and freshly waxed skin. Normally, one can rely on Sergio Ramos to come through with these such goods, but so far, he’s been curiously incognito.

Where in the world could he be? We’ve narrowed down the options:

1. Deep in the heart of middle America on the Hairdressing Offenses Against Humanity Witness Protection program waiting until the offending salon is brought to justice. (Reference photo above); or

2. In Miami getting fitted for his custom-made Jessica Simpson/Ken Paves hair extensions to correct his recent scissor abuse (again, reference image above);

3. Stuck in the queue at Louis Vuitton in Paris waiting to snap up some Kanye West for LV sneakers;

image4. Somewhere in Spain practicing his flamenco routine as he attempts to try out for season three of Fama ¡A bailar! Barring any oddly placed kinesio tape, other contestants will have nothing on his swinging hips;

5. At home in Sevilla with his dog, Odie, catching up on his Harry Potter library of material in anticipation of the new release, taking extensive breaks in between audio books/DVDs to sort his manbags according to designer and color.

We know one thing for certain: Sergio is not set to return to Real Madrid until July 27; the possibilities for his geographical location are endless. He did make a brief appearance at the Belen Lopez flamenco show in Madrid earlier this month, so we think Europe is the most likely answer.

Where is he? Could Sergio be on his way to Los Angeles to take his long-awaited private tour of Neverland Ranch? Recovering after some particularly grueling manscaping?

Sigh. We miss him terribly.

Mini Me: Patrick and Shane Kluivert in St. Tropez

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Working Holiday: Messi and Mickey

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Lionel Messi poses with Mickey Mouse at Walt Disney World Resort. Why is the combination of footballers and people dressed as cartoon characters so damn entertaining? Catch the video here. Image via EMPICS

 

Vacay: Cesc and Carla in NYC

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Barcelona back-up plan Cesc Fabregas and his girlfriend, Carla, have arrived in our favourite city for a short holiday.

As you can see, Cesc decided the faux-hawk with bleach was a no go for NYC. 

Speaking of the faux-hawk, the person to blame is Cesc’s Spanish NT-mate, Gerard Pique.  Cesc asked for a little trim, but Pique mistakenly used the wrong number on the trimmer, and it was too short to do anything else. Or something like that. It still doesn’t explain the highlights.  Cesc described the look as “fatal”.   We won’t argue with that.

We know this will be somewhat controversial, but we love Carla’s outfit. When it comes to the harem shape trouser, you’re either for it or against it, and we’re at the pro-genie/throw some MC Hammer on the i-Pod level of support.

We know. Just put the kettle on and leave us peacefully inside our lamp.

imageRandom: Gerard Pique took his baller break in Las Vegas. His “friends” posted his photos on Facebook. And, the power of the internet has brought them here to us.  (We “tweeted”this Pique-sans-shirt pic a few days ago, but felt it could use another bit of airing.)

Retail therapy bonus: shop Carla’s look below.

 

Black harem trousers (eat as much lunch as you want);
Gladiator sandals (they’re still here!);
Gold/crystal necklace;
Black spaghetti-strap vest (with built-in Spanx, oh yeah.)

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Vacay: The Buffon Family Take a Ride

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Gigi Buffon (Juventus), little Louis and Alena Seredova (who is pregnant with the couple’s second child) go for a ride in Forte dei Marmi. Image via Flynet. See more pics at Celebrity Baby Scoop