'Ballers on Breaks' Category

David Bentley: Thumbs on the Dancefloor

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David Bentley invokes the “British Man Dance Clause of 1997”, which allows for hip shimmys and erect thumbs as common and acceptable forms of dance movement when abroad.  June 9, 2009, Marbella, Spain.

Vacay: Michael and Simone Ballack in Miami

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[images removed temporarily at request of owner]

Oh, glory, it’s that time of year when the footy players on holiday pics start rolling in. 

It’s all we’ve got until the season starts up again, and we’ll be clinging to vacation snaps like Michael Ballack’s wet swimsuit on his nethers.

Speaking of Michael, the Chelsea midfielder is off for a break in Florida with his wife, Simone.  A quick FYI, for those who need it: Michael and Simon got married a year ago in Germany. They had been dating for a decade and had three kids together by that point. Gotta give Simone props for finally bringing in the ring, she certainly earned it.

Vacay: The Redknapps in Barbados

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images via Splash News

Steven Taylor: What Happens in Vegas…

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Oh, Stevie, honey? You better be careful. That waiter looks like he might be ready to make a move on the classy catch in the sparkly belt-dress.

Also, the granny with the fake Coach-bag is giving you the side-eye of judgment. 

As are we. 

See more pics of the Newcastle defender’s Las Vegas jaunt at MRWF.

Cristiano Ronaldo Relaxes in Portugal

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image via BIG Pictures UK/KEYSTONE Press for kickette.com

Looks like Cristiano Ronaldo brought both his six pack and his silver flip flops along on his trip to Maderia.  He’s obviously an efficient packer when it comes to carry on luggage.

The Man Utd winger has been hanging out in Portugal with his agent, Jorge Mendes and his family – Cristiano’s mom is celebrating her 50th birthday.

C-Ron was also spotted visiting his sister’s boutique in Funchal – you remember the CR7 shop, yes?  We’re sure many a man bag has been bought and sold at that little shop.

Also: we flicked through all the photos on offer in this holiday series and not one of them contained a hoochie, skank or skeevie.  Happy new year, indeed!

Double also: it’s one of our life’s goals to spend five minutes alone in a room with Cristiano’s obliques.  And also his pecs. And possibly a bicep. You see where this is heading.