'Ballers on Breaks' Category

Vacay: Marcus Bent and Gemma Atkinson


To the working Kickettes amongst us, does it seem that everyone else is on holiday whilst we toil and slave and labour for little more than tuppence and vodka shots?


Just us?

Here’s Marcus Bent and Gemma Atkinson hitting the beaches of somewhere. Since we’re experiencing a slight attitude problem caused by a Tuesday that feels like 40 Mondays, let’s hand over to our favourite jocks at With Leather for the sum up:

Marcus Bent has spent his career getting bounced around from team to team in England, and he’s also made his way around the bouncier side of the WAG circuit.  Having parted with Danielle Lloyd last year, Bent is now enjoying round two of his relationship with Gemma Atkinson, who’s famous for… uh… (don’t say big boobs don’t say big boobs) … having big boobs?  (DAMN!)

Yup, that’s pretty much it.  Having said that, it’s funny to see the trajectory that Gemma Atkinson has been on at Kickette. We quite like her now.  Yet, during the Cristiano Ronaldo days we certainly were not fans.  Now, of course, we would happily donate a bottle of vintage Krug to charity just to have Gemma back with C-Ron and whatsherface heading back from whence she came.

Vacay: The Terry Family in Barbados



images via Splash News/ dailymail


Vacay: Ashley and Cheryl Cole in Spain



images via WENN

Can anyone – perhaps a divorce attorney – shed some light on why these two are on holiday together?

We’re quite certain that most women – even the most butterfly and princess-hearted ones – would have kicked Ashley Cole’s admitted cheating, lying and vomiting-on-a-random-skank-self to the kerb.  At high speed.

But not Chazza.  One must admire her ability to completely ignore her former statements about infidelity. 

“This generation is really having it pushed down their throat, that being a footballer’s wife is the be all and end all. It’s not. What if you get cheated on or beaten up? What are you going to do then? Stay there for the Chloé handbag? I don’t think so.”

Hmm. Admire, or perhaps as in our case, mock and serve up a hefty dose of bitch, please to the table. Cheryl, we do love you, yet your love life confuses and annoys us almost as much as your swimsuit choices.

Are we being too harsh, dear readers? Do you support the reconciliation?


Vacay: Rio Ferdinand in Tel Aviv



images via Splash News/KEYSTONE Press

We could have sworn Manchester United’s Rio Ferdinand had a few things scheduled in his diary this month besides becoming a village chief – like attending the McRooney wedding and possibly getting married himself, but for the moment, he’s just working on the tan.

Rio’s been spotted on the beaches in Israel this weekend, along with his brother Anton and former Leeds player Jody Morris. Also spotted with the crew: a whole ‘lotta champers and some mackadocious tunes blazing from the iPod.

Seems strange to us that Rio didn’t attend his teammate Wayne Rooney’s wedding – reports had it that he RSVP’d yes, and was fitted for a suit and just didn’t show.  By the way, Rio’s fiancée, Rebecca, is seven month’s pregnant, so she’s got an excuse for not flying anywhere.

‘Tis likely this Rio-riddle will remain a mystery. Oh well, at least he’s snubbing whilst topless. We’ll give him that.


Bikini Watch: Alex Gerrard in Miami


The Gerrard family are in Miami making the most of their summer holidays.  Aside from the disappointment of not seeing Alex try to out dress Coleen at her wedding in Italy, we’re quite interested to see how well she’ll fit in with the other Floridians.  We’re sure she’ll blend right in with the locals, especially if she remembered to pack her leisuresuit.

Sure she needs a tad more bust support with that bikini, but we think she looks quite good – normal cute, rather than supermodel cute, obvs, but good nonetheless.  That is all. 

Minimal snark on an Alex Gerrard post? The end of the world is surely nigh.