'Ballers on Breaks' Category
images courtesy of Splash News/KEYSTONE Press
image courtesy of BIG Pictures/ KEYSTONE Press
Well, that took longer than we thought.
The thong bikinis are finally out on Wayne Rooney’s four day Ibiza stag bender, and we’re not talking about the women.
For those not in the know, it’s a British custom for men on vacay, be it stag or otherwise, to bring some kind of novelty swimsuit along. Why? It’s as much the English way as burning your skin to a crispy lobster red, drinking 40 shots of rainbow coloured liquid from test tubes and waking up on a nightclub floor covered in cigarette ash. It’s not pretty, but it’s true.
Side note: we know it’s Friday and we’re feeling lazy and hungover, but take a look at the photo below. Is Wayne looking better these days? Is the telephoto lens being quite kind to him, or should we just go back to bed now?
Question: is there anything better than stumbling out of your holiday hotel room at noon for breakfast, barely making it to the pool before collapsing on the lilo and then begging a random servant to throw you a plate of fruit to line your stomach before you begin your daily work of caning through the alcoholic beverages with silly names and toasting yourself a warm shade of caramel premature skin damage?
We think not.
Still, maybe attending one or two of the recent big games might be a good idea, no? Why are these WAG vacay’s so oft scheduled at crucial match times?
Side note: regarding the tabloid speculation that Coleen is being crushed on left right and centre by a variety of blokes in Miami, don’t get too concerned for Wayne. Coleen is well aware that the paparazzi/pic hunters are there, trust us.
Looks like the dreaded “holiday paunch” has finally caught up to Wayne Rooney’s girlfriend, Coleen. We’ve all been there, chica.