Andy Carroll has reportedly been told by Liverpool FC that he is no longer part of their plans.
That”s ok, though. Having seen these pics of the big front man (ahem), we have spent the morning assembling our own plans for him.
And we can assure you, not one of those plans involves a body board or his girlfriend. Soz, Stace.
Yolanda Cardona continues to be hush about her rumoured bun in the oven, just like she and her man were the first time around, so the baby bump gossip is basically all but verbally confirmed to be true. [Ed Note: unless we missed a previous announcement or something?] Of course, these two keep their personal lives so private that we could be wrong. Yolanda’s rounded midsection that she showcased on the beach in Sardinia could really be a painless, non-emergency gallstone, for instance.
But obviously our trusty eyeballs have led our minds elsewhere, to an imaginary situ involving Victor sticking his key in her ignition. Which would mean that the protrusion between her black bikini is the couple’s second child in the making (their son Dylan, pictured at left, will be 3-years-old in August).
And while the status of Miss Cardona’s stomach is her own business, her man’s wet bulge is ours. Hallelujah for minuscule bathing suits for men, Kickettes. Without them, our life’s work would be incomplete.
To our dearest readers,
We’ve been going gangbuster with our Mario Gomez and Sergio Ramos coverage lately. If you’ve been too hungover or busy with July sale shopping to notice, good for you.
Should people have any complaints about our sudden change in editorial overload strategy, we kindly ask that you keep it to yourselves. At least for the time being. Until we discover another ‘baller on break who’s stripping down or GQMF-ing it up more frequently than these two.
But also, we’re kinda busy laying around, deciding what to pack and doing last minute late night photo agency drooling to concentrate. Perhaps the quadruple cappuccino a day habit we’ve picked up this week will finally pay dividends tomorrow. Fingers crossed it doesn’t.
You’d be so proud of us today, Kickettes. We successfully snuck a bunch of booze into work using our stomachs.