Our “bitch please“ detectors started going off when we first heard of Victoria Beckham’s friendship with Jennifer Lopez.
But it appears these two are actually very pally. Move over Katie Holmes, your reign is over sweetheart.
Still handling the well-timed paparazzi invasion like a pro, Victoria Beckham took to the skies yesterday to do some ski para gliding.
She’s in Courchevel, France, a long-time family favourite for vacations. Her father, Tony and oldest son Brooklyn have joined her.
Important detail: Victoria is wearing Chanel skis.
In other news, David fixed his hair.
Beckham explained to GMTV why it happened:
“Well, I needed a change. I think I’ve had the same haircut for two years now and I was getting slightly bored. You know it’s part of something that I do”.
Sometimes we have to sit back and think: we’re changing the world with our intellectually challenging, life changing reportage on key events happening worldwide.
Thanks to Cate for the David hair tip.
Anyone want to predict the level of hangover for these two this morning?
We’re thinking it might be a code red situation. Or, in other words, a driving the porcelain bus situation.
The Beckhams got their groove on last night with P Diddy, first having dinner at London’s Nobu and then heading to the Automat bar. Reports say David was looking down and not terribly happy – this is the second night in a row we’re hearing about David’s temperate mood.
We won’t speculate if his attitude has anything to do with us refusing to take his calls anymore. David. You’re married. We can’t be together. Not at least until you send more money. Or a nice necklace. We’re not bothered.
But back to our story of alcohol and Diddyness. Thinking they could keep up with Puff Daddy was their first mistake. This is a man who bathes in champagne and wears diamonds the size of croutons in his ears.
Even with the British-born birthright of being able to drink the bar dry, David and Victoria couldn’t handle it. They stumbled out into their waiting car, with the Daily Mail reporting Victoria looking “tired and emotional” as she collapsed in a heap over David. We’ve seen Victoria this hammered before, but it’s a rare pleasure to see the couple completely smashed together.
The second mistake? The Burberry tea cozy hat.
The third mistake? (Yes, this was an evening of many) Victoria’s non-bra. Girl you’re wearing jersey fabric. Seriously. Put on a goddamn bra. No one wants to have a conversation with you when those things are doing all the talking.
David and Victoria Beckham were out in London last night chowing down at Scotts in Mayfair. They were having dinner with their friend and celebrity chef bigmouth-curse-alot Gordon Ramsey.
The bare bones of this non-newsworthy situ?
- Victoria wore Christopher Kane and looked like a trollop. (Mr. Kane sent her his entire Spring/Summer 07 collection).
- David looked mighty fine with a good pair of shoes
- David, whilst looking mighty fine and wearing good footwear, got annoyed with Victoria and her posing for the paparazzi, was a little huffy, but kept his mouth shut, and eventually they entered the restaurant.
Andy Bernal, one of the SPX management company employees during the David Beckham / Rebecca Loos scandal of ‘03 has the type of insider information we would kill for.
A part of the well-oiled Beckham machine from the minute David arrived in Madrid, Bernal (a former professional soccer player himself) says it didn’t take long for professional relationships to get a little messy between Becks and SPX rep Rebecca.
Picture the scene: the company has to set up makeshift headquarters at Rebecca’s father’s house. David’s wife is shopping in London while the transition happens. Oh, and she’s also making records with Damon Dash in NYC with the hopes of an American re-launch. David is acclimatising to the Spanish lifestyle by chilling out on a sun lounger. Rebecca is poolside in a bikini. Bernal is in the background trying to get the internet to work.
Quick question: ladies, would you be cool with your man “working” with this woman? Isn’t that like taking a job at a cake shop when you’re on a diet? Just askin’.
Right, so as we all know, one night David and Rebecca are busted together at a nightclub. Grainy photos do the rounds. Becks’ peeps say it was a company night out, no biggie. Bernal agrees, but adds that at the end of the evening, David and Rebecca sped off separately from the group in a car driven by bodyguard Delfin Fernandez.
Later, Fernandez radioed to Bernal on the two-way: “The spider has the eagle in her web.“
Of course when the text messages and Rebecca’s tell-all tabloid confession came out, Victoria quickly fired the crap out of everyone on the SPX team. She told Bernal: “Andy, we all have mortgages to pay… We’ve all got to do what we’ve all got to do.“
Wonder what she told Rebecca, huh? Something like, “Beeyatch, you’re skank ass is toast!“ but perhaps not sounding quite so gangsta.
Anyone remember that after the (alleged) affair story broke, David’s official line was that the claims were “ludicrous”? Not actually false, mind you. Maybe he meant Ludacris – he’s always loved his rappers, our David.
Other random notes of interest: David keeps pet terrapins (turtles).
The interesting bit of this story is the very obvious exclusion from the British media. Strange, no? These are the people who report with great fervour when Victoria buys a handbag. In fact, a little tipster-birdie told us the tabloids did approach Bernal with a big money offer but he turned it down, scared of being misrepresented. Plans for a book were similarly shelved because most UK publishers were too scared of the Beckham’s suing them and their children’s children until the end of time.
Nothing like some good new/old news to start the day off right. Turtles, bikinis and spiders, oh my.