'Beck Talk' Category

Beck Talk: Takin’ It To The Streets

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David Beckham’s new ad campaign for Adidas, coinciding with the “Brand Beckham launch” in America, is getting some stick for being too street, too rapper, too Eminem.

Not by us, mind you.  We’d like to point out David has always dressed like a b-boy, so let’s not get our knickers in a twist over nothing.  It would serve us no use and only detract from his fine looks. 

And, lest we forget, in 2003 David was awarded the title,  “The Blackest Man in Britain”, so calling him Eminem really isn’t technically correct.  Link: Black Like Beckham

Link: Look It’s David Beck-Eminem
Link: Adidas Official Site

The Shit List: The Beckhams

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Usually we love us some Beckhams – you know that we do.

Usually, we love David for the obvious reasons (general hotness, thighs of thunder, etc) and we love Victoria for her tabloid consistency, designer gear and all around WAG professionalism.  But there comes a point when we have to say, Stop The Madness.  Or, to be more direct about it, “bitch, please!“.  We’ve been here before, and we were onside with it all.  But today for a limited time only, The Beckham are on our Shit List.

The latest string of Becks news in the press, ranging from Victoria feeding David special foods so they can conceive a baby girl, to their rock solid relationship, is working our last Monday morning nerve.

On Friday everyone media-related was given the full disclosure about the Beckhams’ 10th anniversary celebration.  (They booked into the Lowry Hotel in Manchester, which was decorated with candles and white flowers. David gave Victoria jewellery.  Their kids were there.  As were the mothers/in-laws.  All basking in the celebratory glow of David and Victoria, in love, forever and ever amen for 10 years.  Victoria apparently told her mates: “It was a momentous night. Our closeness and romance is as strong as ever.“)

Ever heard that expression, “those who know don’t say”? If things are so great, why do you have to continually tell us about it? Can’t you just enjoy the momentous closeness and shut up? Seriously, if you were married to Becks with three kids and millions of dollars would you even bother to speak to anyone?  Ever?  We would just laugh all day at the poor peasants who had to go to work and gaze at lesser men across the dinner table every night.  But we digress. 

Victoria recently said being apart from David is very hard on her.  “I just have a breakdown and cry a lot. The hardest part of my life is when I’m away from David. Everything else I can cope with…..“

Then, “We have a security team everywhere we go – school, shopping, to McDonald’s – and I don’t like it. Do I wish I was anonymous? Of course.“

Anyone wishing to insert a “bitch, please!“ here, please feel free.

The reality as we see it: the facade is crumbling. 

imageIt’s fairly common knowledge that David has a wandering eye, and more and more reports are coming out that things are strained between the two of them. (By the way, does anyone remember this painful photo call just after David got (allegedly) busted for hooking up with Rebecca Loos?  Ouch.)  An insider says “they’re like ships that pass in the night.“  They’ve spent very little time together this year, and David is said to be annoyed at Victoria signing her TV deal because he wanted a more low key start to things in America.

We’re going to put it out there:  it’s okay if you split up, okay?  We’ll all still love you, heck, maybe even a little more.  Brand Beckham will never die. So just chill with the PR campaign.

Rant finished, we will now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Link: David & Victoria On The Brink

Beck Talk: Acting, Fake-Acting and Observing

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image: splash
imageThe bloody Beckham lookalikes (who we may have mentioned we wish would just die/fall off a jagged cliff into the sea) are back.  They flew their tired asses over to Hollywood for a little Becks jock-riding and photo opportunities.

Link: Beckham Target For Imposters

A little while ago when David Beckham’s move to the LA Galaxy was first being reported, and everyone with a mouth and an opinion was discussing the decision, fashion designer Giorgio Armani was quoted as saying, “He has done the right thing by moving. And I think he wants to be an actor, not a soccer player.“  In response to all the press, David said, “It would be very difficult to be part of a film because I am not an actor and I never will be.“

Since then, David signed on to play a role as a British soldier in the film ‘Truce’, about a World War I football game between the English and German armies. Currently in development and slated to open in 2008, it’s directed by Vadim Perelman (House of Sand and Fog).

A production insider said: “Beckham has agreed to appear as a British soldier in the football scenes.  Although he is moving to Los Angeles, he has no great aspirations to become a major movie actor. But he loves making cameo appearances as a footballer.“

Oh, wait, hang on.  That doesn’t really count as acting, does it?

Previously Becks has had cameo appearances in Goal! and Goal!: 2 playing himself, kicking a ball. And for all the doubters/cynics, he was great at it.

Welsh actor Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd, who lives in Hollywood, has offered to give Beckham acting lessons.  “I’m determined to become his acting coach,“ he told contactmusic.  We would advise Mr. Gruffudd that no one knows who the hell he is and to just go buy a season ticket to the Galaxy games as that’s the closest he’s going to get to working with his royal hotness.
Link: Becks Goes Up Front
Link:  Horatio Hornblower Offers Beckham Acting Lessons

David returned to his old haunt at Old Trafford to watch Manchester United win 4-3 over a star-filled European side celebrating 50 years of continental soccer play.  He was slotted to play in the historic match, but due to his injury had to settle for watching the game from the sidelines with Victoria.

Link: Beckham Bids Farewell To Man United Fans

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Victoria Beckham link-watch

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Don’t mess with Tom Ford, he formerly of Gucci and YSL.  Victoria was recently on a flight with Mr. F and when she mentioned to him she was going to change into some comfy jammies, he firmly told her that was not a good idea. 

For the image and all, you know.  She says, “”I was so intimidated I had to sit on this 11-hour flight in tight, uncomfortable clothes.“

Link: Victoria Beckham Gets Told Off By Tom Ford

Victoria has just signed a $10 million dollar deal for her own reality TV show, which we’ve heard will be a little like America’s Next Top Model.  Yes, we know that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what we’ve heard.  Don’t question the hearings, okay?  The show will focus on Victoria’s transition to life in America and will not feature her children.  Or David.  Damn it.

Link: Posh Does Designer Duds and Reality TV
Link: Beckham’s To Do: Pack, Call Movers, Film Show

David has had it with Victoria’s frequent trips to the States, which he sees as unnecessary.  He wants her at home with him and the kids.  We say, surely Victoria has servants she can hire to pose with Katie Holmes and swan around the Oscar parties with? Especially when Sir Becks isn’t happy. 

And we don’t want Mr. B to be unhappy. Or worse: bored.  Or much worse: with the eye that roams around the various eye candy that exists when your wife is away.  But don’t take our word for it, the snark-tastic Lainey breaks it down here: The Blonde Posh

Breaking News: Victoria Beckham Goes Blonde

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Image: buzzfoto

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In the most important news story of the year, Victoria Beckham has gone blonde.

And we hate it.

Actually, the cut, we like, the colour we no likey.

Link: Victoria Unveils New Asymettrical Look