'Beck Talk' Category

Beck Talk: Fantasy Football

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News arrived yesterday that five-year-old Maddox (he of Pitt/Jolie parentage) has been enrolled at David Beckham’s football academy in LA, and papa Pitt wants him to get some one-on-one coaching with David.

We will say this on the matter: If the day ever comes where Brad Pitt gets in his environmentally-friendly people carrier and personally brings little Maddox to meet David Beckham, surely the combination of so much visual talent in a square mile radius will bring the world to an end.

Think about it: the Pitt, Becks, soccer balls… add Angelina pulling up on a Harley and it brings a whole new meaning to Fantasy Football.

Wait, we’ve said too much.

In any case, we’re booking our flights to LA today, and anticipating the apocolypse eagerly. But not too eagerly, we still need to work on getting that pesky restraining order dropped.

the WTF files: cinematic beckhams


So apparently, Katie Holmes will be playing Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about David Beckham’s life.

*pause for deep cleansing breaths*

Up until now, we’ve been happily putting our fingers in our ears when stories fly about the Beckhams’ friendship with TomKat, even after David’s very recent tabloid comments that he had a long heart to heart with Tom when he was dropped from the England squad.

We successfully ignored the photos of Victoria shoe shopping with Katie and carrying around a Scientology Indoctrination handbook. But this, we cannot ignore.

One small mercy: Tom Cruise will not be playing the role of David, due to “marked physical differences”.

Link: Holmes to Play Victoria Beckham

Beck Talk: Radio One


We never thought he had it in him, but wow, Becks expressed himself to the max, yo. With full sentences, and syllables and everything.

We love him even more than before.

David’s been on a whirlwind one-day tour of London, flying in from Spain on a hired private jet to do promotion for his new book, Make It Real, and to take care of business at his UK football academy.

On BBC’s Radio 1, during the Chris Moyles Breakfast show, David talked about how he doubts that he’ll ever be given the chance to play for England again, his daily routine with Victoria and the kids, dealing with abuse from football fans, and how he thinks Wayne Rooney is good looking (?!?)

We’re most impressed with the way David spoke to Kickette in secret code. Every time he says, “er” or “uh”, it’s his way of telling us his hotel room number and location.  During this interview, he was obviously filling us in on his itinerary for the next three years.

To listen to David’s dulcet tones check the link below. Btw, for those of you who don’t know Chris Moyles, he’s a fat lump of annoyance.

Link: Radio 1 interview with DB (Windows Media audio)

photo: splash news

The Beckhams: Bulleted

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intimatelyAnother day, another 800 news items on the Beckhams.

Our love of the Becks is unfounded, but this calls for a rapid fire bullet summary, oh yes.

- The pool in their French villa has collapsed.

- This French villa has chandeliers in the bathroom.

- This is the same villa rumoured to be haunted.

- Victoria says the assumption that her behind was J-Lo’d digitally in their perfume ad is untrue.

- She just “stuck it out.“

- Oh, how she doth lie to us.

- She cut her hair as a ceremonious changing of the guard as the Queen of WAGs stepping down after hubby David resigned the captaincy.

- Victoria struggled to keep up with the WAGs at the World Cup because she’s older than them.

- Are we still talking about this?

- She also hates one of the WAGs.

- But won’t say which one.

- But we can guess.

- This is because a certain WAG got pissed off at Victoria’s son Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn suffers from motion sickness and the communal World Cup bus that takes families to the games had to keep pulling over so he could throw up.

- What the f*ck is Victoria Beckham doing on a communal bus?

- Aren’t they for peasants and livestock?

- Apparently all of the Becks’ kids suffer from motion sickness.

- Victoria’s perfume is outselling her husband’s cologne by 66%

- David’s favourite fragrance: “The smell of Victoria when she’s gotten out of the shower.“

- David says he loves Victoria so much he is building her an “infinity” maze in their English back garden.

- Victoria is currently in NYC for New York fashion week.

- David is watching the kids back in Spain.

- Her use of the trilby hat is to disguise an “acne” attack.

- Unlike WAGs forced to ride a communal bus, acne doesn’t discriminate.

- Victoria says David was “heartbroken” when he wasn’t picked for the England squad.

- She also thinks he is much sexier than her.

- “I always say to David, you’re naturally so talented and good looking, so much more so than me.“

- Well, duh.

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becks watch: venice

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David is feeling broody. He told the Daily Mail: “Suri is gorgeous. I have spoken to Tom (Cruise) loads since the birth but it was the first time I had seen Suri. It made me really want a baby girl, so fingers crossed we will have one.“

Good to know if (when) they have another boy, the kid will feel wanted.

Becks also declared that his international career isn’t over yet: “I’ll be back.“

Victoria told the press she has her hands full with her three sons and will probably be trying for a baby next year sometime.

Also, Victoria’s failed/cancelled/canned solo album has been leaked on the internet (remember that whole “kickin’ it” with Damon Dash PR scam?).

It’s the law of the Google: if you have a past, it will re-surface, and it will sound bad). Mrs. B is tres pissed because she thought the songs were “useless” and doesn’t want others to hear them.

Download (and enjoy, natch) the music here: Open Your Eyes

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