There’s some serious weirdness going on in the world of football, Kickettes, and this time it’s got nothing to do with our staffers and their nefarious nocturnal activities.
Well, not all of it, anyway.
We checked our editorial guidelines to see if we were obligated to run this video boasting a naked Neymar a mere two seconds in, and as it turns out, we are.
Being the kind of girls who pollute the environment with our every waking thought, we’re grateful Nike has picked up our slack. The kits they’ve designed for Brazil, France, USA and Australia are almost completely recycled and manufactured from an average of thirteen plastic bottles.
Which explains why none of these ‘ballers are perspiring in their new kits. Sweating like normal people is overrated, you see. Shooting laser beams from your midsection so it glows is not.
With our penchant for crap hats and whips, you might say we’re the ‘Indiana Jones’s’ of the fluffy football world.
With this in mind, we ventured into the depths of the Copa Libertadores last night and found this photo of Wagner (r) being tackled/molested (depending on how loose your definition on on-pitch discipline is) by the magnificently named Hugo Nervo.
We hope you’re grateful. You have no idea what we had to crawl through to get this.
We were looking forward to dusting off our radical feminist costumes and having a good old bitch when we found out that Brazilian side Brasiliense FC had been pushing soft porn on their club website in a bid to boost site traffic.
Alright. We were halfway into them and sharpening our claws on the office scratching post before we remembered that in our daily work, we frequently lead a post with a picture of an athlete in a state of partial undress or worse, in a state of escalating excitement, with the specific intention of encouraging our readers to perv on him.
Our costumes have been returned to the broom cupboard and if it’s okay with you guys, we’ll say no more about it. Alright?
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