'Bubbas & ‘Ballers' Category

Baby Bitchface: Shaqueel van Persie

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Robin van Persie, wife Bouchra and their two kids paid a visit to Diego Maradona and club Al Wasl in Dubai over the holidays. Image via Twitter.

Unlike some of our other more classic side eye examples of disgust and disregard, Robin van Persie’s son is going for a more intense “bubba on the edge” vibe. He’s a kid with attitude issues and he’s about to blow. You don’t know when. You don’t know how. But you know it will be bitchy, beyatch. Psssh.

It’s that, or Shaqueel’s just uncomfortable resting his legs on Maradona’s bountiful belly?

We prefer the first option. Obvi.

Luca Leite: My Little Pony

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Image via his Mum’s Twitter.

Good grief, Luca is a little cherub, isn’t he? His new pet, a miniature horse given to him by a friend of the family as an early Christmas present, ain’t so bad either.

Side note: whatever happened to getting kids low maintenance pets, like a turtle or a goldfish?

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Schalke 04 midfielder Jermaine Jones, pictured above heading into Boa Steakhouse for a bite on 26.12.2011, has been suspended for eight weeks after the American was charged with intentionally stepping on an opponent’s injured foot. After first saying it intended to appeal, the club decided to accept the penalty instead.

Today marks the real first day of us returning to cubicle purgatory after a long three weeks of lying face down on our sofas.

Time flies when you’re a bunch of floozies.

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AC Milan’s Bubbas & Ballers Are About To Occupy Your Ovaries

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The unfair distribution of superior genes is alive and well at this particular Italian football club, and in the name of full disclosure, there’s a few things you need to know about your ovaries before watching AC Milan’s bubba-rific holiday video (set to a banjo remix of Jingle Bells):

1. They are the 99 percent. History often repeats itself, so girdle your loins all you want but Zlatan’s blondies are coming to haul them away (0:11 & 0:40).

2. This will be a peaceful protest by your biological clocks. Sudden feelings of hatred for your contraception will be allowed to flood your main sexual chambers and set up tents, kitchens and a stuffed animal zoo (0:42 – 0:45).

3. During the minutes that follow your viewing of these babies, your bodies will be sent into a state of shock and ‘AWWW!’ (0:57 – 1:00 & 1:08 – 1:10).

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Hey, Wait. Isn’t That…?

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Images via tumblr. Cheers to Kat for the tip!

… Olalla Dominguez giving Justin Bieber some serious side-eye?

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