'Bundesliga' Category

Weekend Results: We Need To Work On Our Cardio

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Who does this tasty torso and tent combo belong to? Answers can be found in the relevant section. Image: AP Photo/Frank Augstein.

This weekend’s games offered their usual blend of record breaking rude boys, incomprehensible decision making and unnecessarily harsh twists of fate.

Be still our beating hearts; the summer break is a looooong way away.

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Night Out: Bayern Munich Celebrates Uli Hoenness’ Birthday

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Mario Gomez with girlfriend, Silvia Meichel. Images: Sky Germany.

Last Friday, the Bayern Munich ‘ballers of past and present turned up to celebrate club legend Uli Hoeness’ 60th birthday at an open bar party. Present were Mario Gomez and his girlfriend, Silvia Meichel. Isn’t she just a breath of fresh-faced, normal air, Kickettes?

Also present: Thomas Mueller and his wife, Lisa…okay, look. We’re having trouble carrying on with this. Because our emotions are so conflicted.

His greasy hair and unruly skin are giving us great pause. We want to mock. It is our right. We simply cannot ignore the fact that he looks mildly excited to embark on a marvelous journey with his new best friend, Puberty.

But Lisa’s quite pretty and really working that skinny belt. Mocking this couple seems inappropriate at best, hell-sending at worst.

So we’re just going to nod respectfully for the finery that is this couple, and move on.

To vodka.

FC Schalke 04: Mining Men

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Raul, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and their Schalke 04 team-mates spent the day today visiting the Auguste-Victoria coal mine in Marl, Germany to build team spirit and to show the solidarity with their supporters. Image: Reuters.

Bayern Munich: Blinded By ‘The Bright’

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We’ve spent a lot of time fantasising that Thomas Muller will one day gaze dreamily into our eyes. Honestly? We’re a bit scared of the repercussions now. Image: REUTERS/Adnan Abidi.

It’s that time of year again, folks. Yes, while you’re labouring through the debris of another expensive holiday season, hiding whenever the postman comes ’round for fear of your credit card statement being delivered, rich footballers are off getting free swag.

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Good Week/Bad Week: Traffic News & Trophies

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AP Photo/Christian Thompson.

A tanker full of eggnog has just broken down outside our HQ.

It’s just provocative really.

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