Yes baby, we know you scored a goal. Now, go wash you hands and meet us upstairs. We’ll celebrate there. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.
Thank heavens for a quiet weekend. We’ve enjoyed the lunacy of the past couple of weeks, but even 24hr party people like our good selves need a rest sometimes.
Could somebody wake us on Thursday, please?
Image: AFP PHOTO / THOMAS KIENZLE.
Who is this macho man caught adjusting his shorts during a fixture this past weekend?
Better question: who is responsible for offering us this glorious glimpse of his glute-to-thigh ratio?
How fortunate that this man was around to make essential repairs to Malaga CF goalkeeper Wilfredo Caballero’s Halloween mummy costume. Heaven knows what we would have been exposed to if he hadn’t.
We’ve done our level best to avoid getting embroiled in any ‘unpleasant controversies’ this week, but events appear to have conspired against us.
If you must discuss the events at Stamford Bridge on Saturday or indeed what supposedly occurred at Loftus Road last week, please observe our rules of etiquette and most of all, be nice to each other.
It’s Monday AND it’s Halloween. We’re sure they’ll be enough fear and loathing in the air without us contributing to it.
We’ve been asking ourselves that question for some time now, Mario. Image: AFP PHOTO/ANDREW YATES.
Paraphrasing Sir Alex Ferguson for the title of a post isn’t a route we would normally be organised enough to follow, but today it seems wholly appropriate.
Come out from behind the sofa, Kickettes. It’s time to plough through the burnt remains of the weekend football.