'Bundesliga' Category

Weekend Results: Torsos & Tippy Toes

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Leo and Daveeed take the opportunity to create the most frightening footballer in the history of the game. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

We’re glad to see that some people in high places have been reading our work. We can be certain of this as our recent complaints about the  proliferation of complex fixture schedules in England over the last few weeks has resulted in the maddest list of games yet.

We won’t go away, y’know. We might tear our hair out and hurl espresso at unsuspecting passers-by to vent our frustration but we’ll write them up. Bring it on!

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Borussia Dortmund Rock Climbing: Just Because…

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Image Credit: Bvb.de. Image Source: A German angel named Lena.

…just because there may not be an “i” in “team” doesn’t mean the other letters aren’t important. As we would have it, there’s a a “t” for “torsos”, an “a” for “abdomens” and an “e-m” for “edible manmeat”.

Twerk it, boys.

Product Shilling Players As Pupils: If Kickette Controlled The Classroom

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Futbolista product promo

Image source: Wire Image. Thx for the story spots, NH & PG!

Calling all students: Kickette class is now in session. Toss your knapsacks under your seats, boys and girls, and pay close attention to today’s lesson on “Publicity Pouting 101″ – featuring the cream of the school clique crop.

Aitor Ocio/Teacher’s Pet

Our kinky-costumed kiss-ass was announced as the new face (and hopefully body?) of a few Schweppes tonics in Madrid last Thursday. He told reporters that he speaks with his ex/baby momma, Laura Sanchez, daily to ensure their daughter Naia – whom he called his ‘greatest triumph’ – grows up to be a happy, normal lady.

Grade: A - . We’re already halfway through our 2011 ‘to-do-us’ list, and his hair is stacked a bit too tall for our plus rating’s liking.

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Weekend Results: Hot Men Hugging

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This picture is so full of win, we almost can’t stand it. Saddos? Pay attention. REAL men feel pain and give hugs. ’Kay? Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Morning team! With a  magnificent week of football ahead, it is vital that you are fully conversant with the events in the major European leagues over the weekend. Several alternative sites would be happy, nay thrilled, to supply you with this information.

If you require a little more from your Weekend Results, such as  incidents of manlove, facial hair related intrigue and the gratuitous exposure of abdominal muscles, you need not trouble your mouse hovering index finger any more. Scroll down at your leisure and immerse yourself in the only site that embraces the true meaning of ‘the beautiful game’.

You are with friends now.

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Mladen Petric: Sign Here, Sir

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It always gladdens our hearts when we learn that the Kickette ideology has infiltrated unexpected territory. But even we had to rub our eyes in disbelief when this image of a German police officer accosting Hamburg striker Mladen Petric for an autograph emerged on his club’s Twitter account.

When the Hamburg team coach was travelling to a match and was pulled over by a police car, sirens were-a-blaring. Instead of a ticket, a demand was issued for Petric to disembark, much to the amusement of his team mates. When he got there, the young female officer advised him that she was a big fan and produced her autograph book.

If this is true, Kickettes, it signifies a new dawn in our evolution. Rejoice at the temerity of a fellow worshipper and use it to inspire greater achievements in your own world of footballer molestation.

And then send us the photos, please.

Images via twitter, Getty Images/Daylife.