Whacked Out Warm-Up: AC Milan fans were distracted from their programme reading and pre-match routines (above) by a bunch of actors purporting to be players and arsing around on the pitch during the ‘team’ warm-up before the Bari game last weekend. Activities including grass swimming and frisbee were enacted, but the whole thing was apparently a set-up by Gazzetta dello Sport to promote their paper. Better than cheerleaders though, no? via dirtytackle
Stockton-area pubs/clubs patrons: Your local watering holes will remain Lee Cattermole-free for another year. Hurrah!
Crisis? What crisis?: From a goalkeeping point of view, many Arsenal fans might argue that this story belongs firmly in the ‘Bad Week’ section, but from an entertainment (and neutral) perspective, the return of Jens Lehmann to the Gunners fold is about as good as it gets. The unpredicable German has been signed on a monthly rolling contract after Wojciech Szczesny suffered a dislocated finger in the game against Barcelona. We await his first appearance with interest.
Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe/Zimbio
Javier Zanetti, his legs and some random trophy. Image: OLIVIER MORIN/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife
Once again we are thrilled to trash our remit by bringing you news of important breaking football news. The Champions League draw for the quarter-finals was made at 11.00am (GMT) and is as follows:
- Real Madrid vs. Tottenham
- Chelsea vs. Man Utd
- Inter Milan vs. Schalke 04
- Barcelona vs. Shakhtar Donetsk
Immediately after, the draw for the semis took place. You can read about that here.
Meanwhile, we’re happy to return to our usual style of reporting and summarise our initial thoughts on each fixture thusly: 1) Oooh! 2) Bleeeaauugh. 3) Pah! 4) Meh.
Roma’s Totti kicks things off for us with a full shirt-removal-and-swing. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.
With Barcelona, AC Milan and Borussia Dortmund dominating their respective leagues, our wildly imaginative writers are running out of superlatives. Desperate times call for us taking umbrage in the form of a hastily written and strongly-worded memo, which each league is now in receipt of as we seek to come to a joint resolution on the matter.
We also grumbled about the lack of skin on show as of late, and are pleased to report that many clubs have already embraced our directive with enthusiasm.
Mario? Darling? What exactly is it that you want from us? Our devotion to you knows no bounds and we freely abandon editorial policy in order to feature your thighs, lederhosen wearing, medal modelling and goal scoring capabilities on our humble pages.
And yet you choose to reward our love by offering us this questionable quiff?
We are not pleased. You need to make it up to us.
This past Monday, Fabian Lustenberger and Sascha Burchert were two of the Hertha BSC footballers who spent their free time with some of their furrier friends at the zoo. One fortunate, flipper-clad lady that also happens to be named Hertha went as far as securing herself a sponsorship deal with the club.
Are we the only ones envious of how much fun and fame the world’s wildlife and/or tank creatures attract? Perhaps we let bygones be bygones and cheerfully ride others’ aquatic coattails right past the club’s private dressing room doors? We know there’s at least one other Kickette out there who will shamelessly join in on our fun.
Don’t be afraid to fess up, neither we nor the animals will judge.