Is this the most perfect photo in the history of football? For our purposes, yes. Yes, it is. (Image: Getty Images/Zimbio)
Regardless of your club affiliations, you have to admit that it was a cracking few days of football.
No? Oh, come on. Just try. For us.
While you may be rueing missed opportunities, dodgy refereeing decisions or the inconsistency of the form tables, you have to admit this weekend’s results from the EPL, Serie A and Ligue 1 have blown the respective title races wide open. With vital fixtures in the Champions League still to come, plus league cups and the inevitable scandals that players are obliged to involve themselves in, we are stocking up on popcorn for a fab couple of months of footie.
No? Alright. Be like that then.
Image: REUTERS/Eddie Keogh.
Seriously, we’re starting to feel persecuted now. It’s hard enough to keep track of the Weekend Results as it is, without the English FA continually running interference in the form of League Cup finals in the middle of an EPL fixtures schedule. Apparently there was some sort of movie awards thing going on, too. Sigh.
The chance of us getting through this post without confusion arising is diminishing by the second. Please be aware of this and we can limit the unpleasantness to a dull roar.
Image: REUTERS/Morris Mac Matzen.
Enough of the cold weather and base layers already. If this was our world, and Grafite was just living in it, all three of our fantasy football team kits would look something more like this.
Decidedly, VfL Wolfsburg has not asked us to weigh in with our creative design juices just yet – but we’re still holding out for the day that abdominally-friendly Grant Wahl takes the FIFA Presidency and strongly encourages them to reconsider.
While we wait for our credentials from the Bundesliga club to be processed, why don’t you all humour these overly optimistic peeps by making some critical third kit decisions that are of sound mind and body? Personally speaking, and we know this will probably not help us win over a few frenemies, our 1D minds have superficially selected trikot 8 as the most optically delusional (and subtly perverse) design.
Rack your brains, Kickettes, then make your call. Remember: Grafite’s obliques and shelf booty deserve the least restrictive (and most sexually suggestive) coverage possible.
Roma’s Marco Borriello. Yes, unfortunately we are this shallow. (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)
We usually like to come up with some sort of witty intro to the Weekend Results, mostly to make the subject matter appear more exciting, but also to enable you to slip comfortably and easily into post as you might a hot bath. Unfortunately, we only have limited wit reserves and we’ve pretty much used it all in the post, leaving us with nothing to say. Hopefully, the photo of Marco Borriello above will distract the majority of you from this crapness.
If not, we’ve put a picture of a topless Phil Neville further down to ease your pain. Enjoy!