'Bundesliga' Category

Weekend Results: Hammerings & Hangovers

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Cesc Fabregas. Emirates Stadium. Saturday. Oof. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Having your backside handed to you on a plate is one thing. When the act is carried out by your bitterest rival, prevents you from sitting pretty atop the leaderboard and breaks a record of seventeen years standing, it’s another thing entirely.

But enough about the results of the Kickette Annual Pre-Thanksgiving/Champagne Drinking Contest. Please accompany us (and our hangovers) as we tour the highlights of the weekend results.

No shouting or merriment, please. We’re of a delicate disposition today.

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Kickette Fail Files: Franck Ribery, Bayern Munich

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A bit of a quandary for us today. While perusing the day’s images for inclusion in one of our many popular categories, a highly disturbed Kickette intern’s scream alerted us to the presence of this disturbing sight – Franck Ribery and his pants. (Image via bild)

She is now undergoing treatment for post traumatic stress disorder, but the rest of us hardened bishes have no time for such frivolity. Where does this image belong? Is it evidence for the prosecution in a FAIL FILE case? Is it a plea for clemency in a Dressed At Gunpoint post? Should it be tied to a stake and burned?

Much confusion abounded, but eventually our bravest staffer donned a hazmat suit, grabbed said photo with a pair of tongs and asserted that such undergarments deserved no mitigating circumstances. The Kickette Army will not tolerate such undergarment offences. Spurred on by her passion, we made a decision.

Soz, Franck. It’s a FAIL FILE for you.

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Weekend Results: Apologies & Upsets

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AC Milan’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic. This man is the gift that just keeps on giving, no? (Getty Images/Zimbio)

This morning, we would like to begin the Weekend Results post with a pledge. In future we shall try to avoid making statements on the good form or otherwise of a particular club. While it is vaguely amusing to see the application of our collective football knowledge shown up for what it is, we realise that continual damning of form clubs into the depths of embarrassment *may* alienate us from our readers. We offer our apologies to Chelsea fans in particular, a club whose form we recently described as imperious across all competitions.

Sorry.

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The Sizzle Query: Tobias v Bastian Schweinsteiger

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Well, now isn’t this a bit of a dilemma, Kickettes? After careful examination of the above photograph, we have reached the controversial conclusion that we possibly might find Tobias Schweinsteiger (left), brother of Bayern Munich babe Bastian (right), marginally hotter than his sibling.

Let’s discuss.

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The Midweek Mmm: Lukas Podolski, FC Köln

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As soon as we saw Lukas Podolski’s shirt, we knew we had our mmm-man. Thanks for making it easy, LP. Also: it’s always nice when footballers can find new ways to communicate with us about their wants and needs isn’t it? Image via Donadabola.