'Bundesliga' Category

Mario Gomez: Doing ‘A Götze’


Image via tumblr. H/T to JenC!

You think this is the second best view of a German player’s junk you’ve had this week? It’s nothing compared to the one the owner of that floating head has.

For more Kickette perversions of the English language, please revisit our Language Lunacy post from June last year. Happy days!

Good Week/Bad Week: Beefcake, Anyone?


Azkals’ Neil Etheridge. In need of intensive training, apparently. Image: stylenarratives.

Enough, Already: Phillippine Azkals manager Dan Palami has announced his boys are about to go into a five month intensive training programme to prepare for the AFF Suzuki Cup in November. For those of you unfamiliar with the Azkals, we mentioned them here, and their goalkeeper is an underwear model.

We’ll check in in a few months with you, boys, but honestly? We’re not seeing much room for improvement so far.


Mario Götze: Is That What We Think It Is?


It seems that Borussia Dortmund/German NT footballer, Mario, can barely contain his *excitement* whilst on holiday with Ann-Kathrin Vida. Michael Dawson, you’ve got competition. Image: Tumblr.

Good Week/Bad Week: May Contain Nuts


Image: Thames TV.


TV Enthusiasts: Our mates at KCKRS availed us of the news that Peter Crouch is getting his own talkshow, called, hilariously, On The Couch With Peter Crouch. You might think this is terrible, but we’re addicted to the new series of Geordie Shore. By contrast, Crouch is the footballing equivalent of Larry King.

Also, who watched last night’s premiere of the new ITV1 reality comp, Let’s Get Gold? Starring Freddie Flintoff (cricket bloke), Una Healy (The Saturdays; WAG of rugby chap Ben Foden), Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United footballer, obvi) and Martine McCutcheon (who has no great sporting link as far as we can tell), we’re positive none of us missed much.


Kitted Out: Borussia Dortmund & Tottenham Hotspur


Image: H/T to @STARTackler.

Kickettes, quick kit news hits if you care:

- Roman Weidenfeller’s girlfriend, Lisa Rossbach, is thrusting her tantalising triumvirate (lips, blips, hips) forward whilst fronting a new retail campaign for Karstadt Sports. The accompanying advert copy apparently takes aim at Schalke 04 and its fans, telling them they can “look but not touch.” Oooh…! Zing…? Burn….?! We realise this cheeky reference might make perfect sense to some, but we hope we never meet them.

- Under Armour and Totts are teeing up what promises to be a veritable circus of events to officially unveil the club’s 2012/13 kits, the invited journos rumour mill reports. Scheduled for sometime between July 10-12 at an undisclosed location in London, fellow Gareth Bale watchers should mark their calendars asap and begin contemplating which illness you’re suddenly going to be stricken with. Make sure it’s one that’s contagious (although open sores on the face should be avoided) and requires antibiotics and bed rest for one to three days.