'Champions League' Category

CL Preview: Declarations Of Debauchery


Image Credit: AP Photo/Matt Dunham, Paul White.

Since we’re about to embark on another week’s worth of UCL action, the ever aggro Mikel Arteta implores you to put your money where your mouths are and make your match predictions.

We’ll go first: someone will score, Mario Gomez’s hair will continue to suck, Manchester United’s second string will win and we’ll be the last ones to leave the pub.

Oh and before we let you all do your thing – Cristiano’s stank face sends his best. If that’s not a match-winning attitude, we don’t know what is.

Midweek Results: Champions League Chuntering


How could you, Frank? After all we’ve been through? Apparently, Michael feels that his ‘special’ relationship with Chelsea deserves better than a 2-0 defeat. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

A few choice moments from the latest Champions League fixtures for your perusal, Kickettes.


Real Madrid: So Far, So Good?


Not to worry – Cris is a pro at managing these kinds of situations. Image Credit: Tomislav Kristo / Cropix.

Real Madrid have not exactly had it easy since landing in Zagreb ahead of their Champions League tie with Dinamo Zagreb. First, was their airport arrival, which is normally a seriously suited and festive occasion. For us and you only, natch.

Instead of the usual ‘IKER WILL YOU HAVE MY BABIEZ’ fanfare the team receives upon disembarking from their private jet, it was relatively quiet in the airport with only a small circle of males in cartoon t-shirts to sign autographs for. Mourinho was the only person to be cheered (as he should). Not that either are terrible incidents, but it probably wasn’t the most optimal male to female conditions the single first teamers would’ve like to see.

Sidenote: while we’re on the subject of unattached ‘ballers, wouldn’t it just be dandy if all the footballers who fly solo were forced to wear special jock straps that emit light and/or signals that only single women could see? Anyone else smell a multi-million pound idea bubbling over? And are there any readers out there who happen to double as venture capitalists?


Robin van Persie: Short Tent Stretching


Even Marouane Chamakh feels the need to bow his head at the sheer magnificence of what RvP is packing in his pelvic region.

Midweek Results: Drama & Delusion


If you neutrals need a reason to support Arsenal, here’s something you might want to take into consideration. When the Gunners win, this happens. Image: REUTERS/Giorgio Benvenuti, AP Photo/Daylife.

We are unable to bring you a full round-up of all the matches that have occurred this week, but we grabbed a few of pictures of naked footballers and wrote some vague stuff about a handful of the games anyway.