'Champions League' Category

Champions League Results, Part I: Barcelona To The Finals


Image Credit: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe.

While there’s still much for us to discuss re: the Barcelona/Real Madrid CL tie since our last recap, we’ve elected to keep things short and sweet this time around.

Why? Mainly because we have bigger and better things on our plates. Like photoshopping our new Finest Five together, for example.

And so, we’d like to congratulate the Barca boys for making it to Wembley. We imagine the Catalans will be lounging comfortably on their lush Italian leather sectionals this evening as they eagerly await the result of the Schalke 04 v. Manchester United return tie. As you may recall, United have two crucial away goals in their clutches, but it definitely ain’t over until the fat lady belts her bluesy tunes.

Cristiano RonaldoNow, on to more important issues: would you agree that Leo Messi is picking while Xavi Hernández is scratching/rubbing? And what was with the poor man’s pitch-invading version of Where’s Waldo last night?

Both scenes are making us uncomfortable. And slightly jealous.

Image: David Ramos/Getty Images Europe.

Champions League Results: The Saga Continues


Says it all really. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

For us, results posts act as a form of closure. An opportunity to review the games in the cold light of day and chew the fat on the issues raised. Unfortunately, with second legs due to be played next week, Barcelona considering action over Jose Mourinho’s post-match comments and a rabid following of both clubs on our humble website, we have a feeling this one might attract a bit of ‘attention’ in the coming days.

Our comments moderator is trembling. Be considerate.


QOTD: Pep Guardiola on Jose Mourinho


Careful Mou. He might look like a pussy cat, but he bites hard. Image: Reuters/Daylife

Off the pitch, in the press conference room, Mr Mourinho is the f****** leader, the f****** boss, the person who knows everything about the world and I do not want to compete with him.

He can have his championship off the pitch, take it home and enjoy it. Let him read Albert Einstein, let him read what is written by the friends of Florentino Perez (Real’s president). We are happier with smaller victories on the pitch.

Pep Guardiola responds to comments made by Jose Mourinho in a pre-Champions League semi-final press conference. And so it begins…

Champions League Results, Pt II: Naked But Numb


Your PFA Player of The Year? Image: Getty Images/Zimbio

Having studied the habits of Kickette staff over the last four years, our data has demonstrated that emotional stress causes increased ingestion of cookie dough and white wine. As we approach the business end of the season, a review of our orders to the bakery suggests that we’re in for a record year, and we predict that unfulfilled threats to join a gym will spike in late May.

You too? What”s your fatproof foolproof method of stress management? Can you share it with us, please?


Jermaine Jenas: Studly Struggle


With our protest of most items pertaining to football kits overtly obvious, we’d like to offer a cordial tip of our fedoras to the sturdy studs that stabilise footy boots. Were it not for these relatively innocuous metal or plastic nubbies catching JJ’s feet in a tangled tizzy, we may never have had the opportunity to gaze at the delightful contours of his beautiful behind.