Lampsy needs a hug, Kickettes. No pushey-shovey as you form an orderly queue, please. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
We think this is what they call ‘the sharp end’ – that time of the season when one bad decision, one slip or one moment of genius could be the difference between eternal glory and agonising heartbreak for players and fans alike.
Our waistlines absolutely love this time of year.
Aww, baby. Image: AP Photo/Daylife
It’s part two of our marvelous Champions League Results round up, people. Strap yourself in, grab your hip flask and join us for the ride.
(Psst: there’s semi-nekkid Pique and everything!)
Ooh, sex-face! Image: Getty Images/Daylife
As all good Kickette Soldier Girls and Boys know, inconsistency is the key to our success. Yes, having just re-organised the Midweek Results to maximise your information gathering potential, we are now (albeit temporarily) moving the goalposts again. While the Champions League fixtures are offering such wild excitement and intrigue, we will be running the results post over two days.
Tomorrow, you can expect an in-depth examination of Manchester United vs. Chelsea and Barcelona vs. Shakhtar Donetsk. Today, we are pleased to offer full(ish) analysis of Real Madrid vs. Spurs and Inter Milan vs. Schalke 04.
We know. Even we’re surprised at the level of efficiency stalking our corridors. It must be the new espresso.
Javier Zanetti, his legs and some random trophy. Image: OLIVIER MORIN/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife
Once again we are thrilled to trash our remit by bringing you news of important breaking football news. The Champions League draw for the quarter-finals was made at 11.00am (GMT) and is as follows:
- Real Madrid vs. Tottenham
- Chelsea vs. Man Utd
- Inter Milan vs. Schalke 04
- Barcelona vs. Shakhtar Donetsk
Immediately after, the draw for the semis took place. You can read about that here.
Meanwhile, we’re happy to return to our usual style of reporting and summarise our initial thoughts on each fixture thusly: 1) Oooh! 2) Bleeeaauugh. 3) Pah! 4) Meh.
Image: Getty Images.
Good afternoon, people, and welcome to the second edition of the revamped Kickette ‘Midweek Results’.
Yes, we did it! Two weeks in a ruddy row!!