'Champions League' Category

Five Hours Left: Transfer Window Winners & Losers Thus Far

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Image: Sporten.tv2.dk.

Kickettes, let’s give pause and evaluate all the cray that’s already occurred on this last day of the summer 2012 transfer window.

T-minus 5 hours and several odd minutes…!

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Chelsea FC: Turning The Air Blue

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This was how we looked after the game, too. Only instead of a medal, we had shot glasses on our foreheads.

Wahey the Chelsea!

The Champions League final has been twelve months in the planning. For the last couple of weeks, there’s been talk of little else in the footballing world.

Which is why, instead of forcing the celebrations into an ill-advised second day, Kickette will be launching an enquiry into how our staffers managed to arrive at the pub late, failed to get a seat, drank too much to compensate and then collapsed on 64 mins.

Luckily, fate stepped in and applied a strategic tech fail. This is the only reason we still have our dreamy jobs.

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UEFA Champions League Final: Big, Bulgy & Bright Red Or Blue Balls & Llama Layering?

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Images: Launch Group UK.

We believe Bayern Munich is on the brink of something big and bulgy, Kickettes. In terms of history and our predictions go, the face/body talent ratio has never steered us wrong, so we probably shouldn’t lose faith in our own system now, right?

Well, according to this llama – who we’ll call Larry from here on out – at Ashdown Llama Park in East Sussex, we may be wrong in due time.

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Baller Bylines: David Luiz & Gary Cahill

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Image: AP Photo/Tom Hevezi.

David Luiz: Well, I for one am glad he’s suspended. JT might be a pioneer in on-pitch accessorising but the boy has no clue when it comes to stylish haircuts.

The Champions League Final is the biggest event in the club football calender as such, it’s imperative that Chelsea is represented on the world stage by the best in blow dried bouffs. Fernando is getting his highlights touched up, and I’m about to take a delivery of an industrial size bucket of frizz ease to combat the humidity in the Allianz Arena.

What have you got in mind for the big day, Gary? Streaks like Phil Jones? Blue dye like Gael Clichy? Do tell.

Gary Cahill: Huh?

Cesc Fabregas: Kickette Covert Operative (In Training)

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Image: AP Photo/Manu Fernandez.

This seems to be catching on, doesn’t it?

We can’t tell you how happy it makes us to see players doing the same things to one another that we would do if we had their level of access.