Mario Gomez curses the deceptively flat bit of grass that caused him to miss an open goal. Luckily for Bayern, he made up for it later. Image: JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/Getty Images.
Last night, Cristiano Ronaldo’s poor performance vs. Bayern Munich was blamed on thieves who stole three pairs of his boots from the dressing room at the Allianz Arena prior to kick-off. Mesut Ozil and Karim Benzema also lost items in the heist but seemed less affected, seeking solace in each others arms when the trauma became to much to bear.
Ever the lone wolf, we can’t help but feel that if Cristiano was more familiar with the Kickette Code of Conduct, which basically requires an individual to habitually leave expensive footwear on public transport and in dumpsters on a night out, he would have coped with the situation more effectively.
Robert Feczesin is a Hungarian professional footballer currently playing for Brescia Calcio in Italy’s Serie B league. This would not usually qualify him for coverage on our selective site, but Robert has a secret weapon or two worth mentioning.
First up, he has a hot girlfriend by the name of Regina Dukai, and he’s not afraid to pose with her at Champions League quarter-final ties to gain more exposure. Regina has a Noemie Lenoir-like appeal going for her, doesn’t she, Kickettes?
More importantly, Robert has slightly dodgy quiff, which is always a shot in the arm for certain sections of our staff.
We’re peculiar, we know. Don’t fight it, embrace it. You’ll be better people for it.
No more messing about, Kickettes. We know who’s in the semi-finals now, so the tough, probing questions are coming to us thick and fast.
A bit like a Kickette staffer during cocktail hour.
Image: REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach.
Broken records, hot hip-dips and excessive German nudity. But haven’t we seen it all before?
Recent events have made French footballers more cautious with their affection. Not sure? Keep one hand in your pocket while giving, both hands behind your back if receiving. Image: CHRISTOF STACHE/AFP/Getty Images.
We love happy footballers.
We love happy footballers running, walking or standing still in shorts even more.
But nothing puts a bigger spring in our step than happy go lucky footballers working out their pre-game jitters in shorts whilst taking the pissing out of their mates and/or competitors.