'Cristiano' Category

Kickette Fail Files: Cristiano Ronaldo

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Don’t strain yourself, Cris. (AP Photo/Daylife)

You know what, Cris? You might have the most ridiculous taste in clothing, hairstyles and tanning shades but our sartorial radar seems to take a hike when you’re around.

Yep. We love you regardless, dammit. You’re foine, yo.

But still: there are times when your nonchalance has to be put in check. Kickettes, please convene in the chamber to consider the evidence. Crissy’s up for a FAIL.

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Cheers! A Thanksgiving Appreciation List

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Manlove. A reason to be thankful at any time of year. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Instead of creating rather alarming poultry/player interfaces for US Thanksgiving this year (see left), we thought we would try something a little different by way of celebration.

Don’t panic, we’re not going to start banging on about pilgrims and the like. At least until we’re approaching our fifth margarita. Instead, we’ve decided to try and take on board the true meaning of the holiday and offer our thanks to the gods of football for some of the wonderful things they have seen fit to bestow upon us this year.

We’d like to invite our global readership as well as the American Kickettes soon setting off for their long weekend of gluttony and face-stuffage to join us. We can only hope the next twelve months will be as generous as the last.

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Cristiano: Tanned & Scanned

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In an effort to disprove Jose’s theory that he is composed entirely of wood, Cristiano agreed to undertake a full body scan. The results, though disappointing for the player, enabled his insurers to promptly insert a clause in his policy advising against exposure to naked flame. Image via lipstick alley

Midweek Results: International Friendlies & Funsies

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Tim Cahill’s despair is our deepest joy, sadly. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Midweek international friendlies. From what we can gather, these games serve no useful purpose from a sporting perspective but provide us with the opportunity to perv on players while they’re wearing different coloured jerseys. For this reason, and this reason alone, we at Kickette applaud the international friendly and will campaign for its continued presence in the footballing calendar. Please enjoy our highlights in the meantime.

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Cristiano Ronaldo: Baby Got A New ‘Do

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We have nothing. Sorry. (AP Photo/Daylife)