'Cristiano' Category

Variety Mix: The Friday “Easter Basket” Fit

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Ronaldo and Evra

Since we’ve already hit a diabetic coma from the amount of Cadbury Mini Eggs we’ve scoffed (seriously, we need an intervention), we’re turning now to getting our Easter treats via fit men in bright knits. Luckily, Cristiano Ronaldo, Joe Cole and Patrice Evra’s man-candy is calorie-free.

May your long weekends be fun and footy-filled! We’ll be back to regular posting on Tuesday. Hopefully the high-Q shots of our nummy man-eggs (below) will hold you over ’till then.

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Cristiano Ronaldo: Still Hot, Now Featuring Especially Horrid Hair

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We’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: it seems like Cristiano Ronaldo’s hairdresser is out to get him.

Its been several days now since we’ve queried your views on what we have lovingly dubbed the ‘Shame – akh’. This crime against hair was serious enough for us to consider rescinding crush privileges but after a great deal of alcohol-infused discussions, we have decided that Marouane should not shoulder all of the blame. Not when Cristiano Ronaldo is wandering the streets.

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Weekend Results: Not. Good.

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Gaaargh. How do we even begin to describe how the news from Milan of David Beckham’s Achilles injury has left us feeling? Curtains are drawn, two (okay, three) tubs of Ben and Jerry’s have been devoured, and Kleenex supplies are in desperate need of a refill. Teary and sleepless, we spent the night wishing for a fairy godmother to wave her wand and bring Becks to the ball South Africa.

We all know football can be a cruel game, but when it shatters the dreams of an Armani-modeling, free-kicking legend we have some serious issues with it. And we know how it feels to have our dreams torn up and thrown in our face; we still haven’t recovered from seeing Fabio Cannavaro make an honest woman out of Daniela.

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Lazy Links & Randoms

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Before we kick off the weekend ritual of dressing up, going out and leaving our handbags in random bars, we thought we’d give you the skinny on the latest footy news. Aren’t we just lovely?


First up, raise a glass to Chelsea’s Didier Drogba who celebrated his 32nd birthday yesterday, and also won the title of African Footballer of the Year. He’s also good with numbers. FYI, Didi was born in 1978, the Chinese year of the horse. In totally unrelated news, here’s a photo. Ahem.

Continuing our recently developing and entirely undesirable theme of the aesthetically challenging ‘baller, we are amused to report that Hull City’s Phil Brown has been forced to apologise to a group of pensioners after they witnessed a fight between his players during training. It’s unclear whether the ladies were upset about the fighting or caught a glimpse of Jimmy Bullard.

The Ramos Nipple Tweak ™ went down a storm last week and we are pleased, nay thrilled, to offer these further images. There’s cheek. Ramos cheek. Seriously.

To celebrate Mother’s Day (yes, we only just remembered too), the Daily Mirror has put together a list of Football’s Ten Most Important Mothers. If your mascara doesn’t do the slidey slide when you watch the montage of clips featuring Frankie Lampard & late mum Pat, you are inhuman. *Sniffle.*

Sadly, it looks like the real reason Cristiano Ronaldo canceled Thursday’s Socceraid pro event has come to light: the death of his cousin, Amílcar Miguel Dos Santos Fernandes, who was killed in a car accident. Our deepest condolences to the family.

Photo Call: Cristiano Ronaldo at Nike Innovation

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Okay, so Nike may have decided that none of the 300-odd persons invited to their big Innovation event in London should be female bloggers, but that’s fine.

Because, as our readers know first hand, there are no women anywhere in the world remotely interested in football product launches or getting our behind the scenes news on the Nike players. Cough.

The reason why it’s all good in the hood, though, is down to the fantabulous Chris Toy of Studs Up . He has come to our emotional rescue, Kickettes.

Late last night, Chris took the time to send us an email with Cristiano Ronaldo’s bottom. Just for you, dear readers. He cares. Unfortunately, he seemed to think we wanted a photo of C-Ron’s behind when it’s wearing clothes. But baby steps. Baby steps.

Cris is in London to launch some sort of new whooseywotsits that none of our audience could possibly be interested in, so we’ll skip that part, yeah?