'Cristiano' Category

The Friday Fit: Cristiano Ronaldo


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Thanks KMS!

Cristiano Ronaldo: Close Birthday Encounters of the Cougar Kind?


Image via Reuters

Cristiano celebrated his birthday (last Friday) in two parts, beginning by attending an event at the Santiago Bernabeu to help promote sports among the Madrid immigrant and elder populations. He also reportedly held a private dinner at his new Madrid digs and shared the bromantic guest of honor spotlight with Kaka.

Now that we made reference of some news let’s get to the nitty gritty: his approach to smooching. The woman/cougar in question? Someone we can’t be bothered to google. (It is Monday, after all). But we’re still going to judge him for his lean-in. We think it needs work.

Specifically, we’re not impressed with the “lean in for the kill”, closed-eye pucker up. Surely he should be eyes open, cheek forward?

Of course, our first kiss fantasies with Cris always involve him shirtless, so perhaps that’s half the problem right there. Or maybe it’s just good old fashioned jealousy.

Happy belated, Cristiano! Hope you had a wonderful weekend filled with cougars, manbags and Gucci gift cards!

Random: C-Ron was voted second sexiest sportsman in Portgual. What the?

Caption Fantastic: Real Madrid Talk Fragrance


Fantabulous captioning via @728percentwater

Sometimes, all it takes to lift your mood is an immature LOLcats style footballer fragrance joke. This has tremendously improved our day.

Kickette Catch-Up: Weekend Cheat Sheet


A huge congratulations to the Egyptian National team – they won their third consecutive African Nations cup this weekend. Image via Zimbio.


- The Spanish female population has spoken and a majority of them believe Beckham’s Armani ads were sexier than Ronaldo’s. Of course, while Beckham’s bulge was seriously impressive, Crissy’s hip dips are second to none.

- On another Beckham note, Barca ‘Toons will be shaking in their animated boots once David’s comicbook character makes his debut.


Cristiano Ronaldo: Style Commentary


Image via Splash

Cristiano Ronaldo, how you do keep us on our toes.

This photo of you in your tight white cotton-blend got us very excited. We felt the full F5 love we once had in spades for you return swift and true.

Oh, how we have missed claiming you as one of our imaginary life and lust partners. (Though if we were playing stylist, we would suggest ditching the Eurotrash rat-tail situ on your head.)

But let’s stay positive. We’re not even bothered by the mid-stride ball check. Go ‘head.

And then.

Cruel, photographic fashion crime documentation in the form of this image. You, exiting a Madrid restaurant after a dinner date with Real Madrid gaffer, Mr. Pellegrini (not pictured).

The cut of the denim. The patent detailing on the shoes. We can’t deal. We just won’t.

We still believe you can turn things around, baby. We eagerly await your next move. Hopefully, something along these lines.