'Cristiano' Category

Universal Mysteries Solved: Cristiano Ronaldo’s Manbag Contents

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Bananas. He uses them to carry bananas.

Finally, we have closure.

Lazy Links & Randoms

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Rio Ferdinand

Rio Ferdinand takes a break during Man Utd training in Doha. No sunshine jealousy here. No sir-ee. None at all. Nary a whiff of it. Image via Reuters

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Wow. It’s old-arse Sol Campbell back at Arsenal. Who knew? In other Gunner news, the sexy-Cesc is returning to the pitch pronto.
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An Italian showgirl blows the lid off a “steamy” affair that she had with Man City’s new head honcho, Roberto Mancini. Pizza and wine can really do wonders.
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Adebayor says being caught on camera in an Arsenal jersey was an accident. We think he’s quite clearly suffering from post-traumatic stress. So does Man City, who’ve granted him some time off.
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Louise Redknapp says the high street is heavenly.
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TMI, Frank Lampard. TMI.
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Australian teammates Harry Kewell and Lucas Neill will link up together at last. Harry occasionally removes the top while Lucas flaunts the bubble bottom, so this could potentially work out well.
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Scruffy ZizouSpeaking of looking good, Zizou is currently sporting scruff. As you were.
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Jozy Altidore, who has family in Haiti, makes a public plea for people to donate in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake. Please, help if you can.
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Atletico Madrid are snatching up players the way many females hoard Louboutin’s at the yearly 70% off Saks sale.
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Did Cristiano Ronaldo steal Tom Cruise’s modeling style?

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Caroline Celico celebrated her four year wedding anniversary with Kaka…via Twitter. Then again if he were our hubby, we’d be praising God too.
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Btw, are WAGs tweeting their feelings the new post-wedding fist pumps?
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Matthieu Flamini set to return to the PL? Welcome back chest hair and gold chains…we missed you!

Supermodel, Work: Cristiano Ronaldo For Giorgio Armani – UPDATED

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Cristiano for ArmaniCristiano for Armani

jan13cronfor armani

All photos copyright Giorgio Armani

UPDATED with more from the campaign below. Including a wet one. Hurrah!

So, we’re thinking Cristiano Ronaldo’s Armani underwear campaign is an excellent example of alternative ways to grate cheese for your jacket potato. It’s more environmentally friendly to use the abs of a superstar footballer than to potentially injure your credit card charging arm manually shredding cheddar over your spud.

Yeah, we’re talking rubbish.

That’s because we’re not quite sure how we feel about these shots. Cristiano’s body being hot is hardly news – it’s widely recognized he’s the best in the biz, after all. We’re more concerned about the amount of photoshopping from Nereida’s retoucher that seems to have occurred. Really Mr. Armani? So unnecessary.

And the poses? Why make C-Ron attempt to do artsy with a side of Zoolander? Just let him be. Truly, you should have just published this and waited for the undie-money to come rolling in.

Fingers crossed these are just the “testers” as so far Cristiano’s got nothing on Becks and that … rope.

Edit: Well, let’s not speak too soon, shall we? There’s water involved now, which completely changes the playing field.

Becks and his ropeCristiano for ArmaniCristiano for ArmaniCristiano for Armani

Off The Market: Whatsherface Gets Engaged

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Nereida and Pedro

Upon hearing that Cristiano Ronaldo’s infamous ex-girfriend Nereida Gallardo got engaged, we were confronted by many conflicting emotions: terror, curiosity, confusion.

But mostly terror.

We have yet to confirm whether or not whatsherface’s engagement is a “sophisticated” plot to make Cristiano Ronaldo jealous, but in the meantime, we felt it necessary to share all that we know on this situ:

The Sucker/Fiancé
Depending on where you get your news from, Pedro Sabater either owns a “maintenance” company or is a “prominent” businessman. We question both. Either way, he’s short.

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Twitter Talk: The Belletti Family

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Decos costume party

Deco, he of Chelsea and Portuguese NT fame, held a costume party over the New Year, and the Belletti family partook in the fun.

Deco’s club teammate Juliano Belletti’s choice for fancy dress was meager -  an L.A Lakers uniform, while his sister Luana channeled her inner Marilyn Monroe. The girl to their left had the most creative costume: an American girl who dresses slutty on Halloween.

In case you haven’t heard, many celebrities enjoy spewing monotonous ramblings on Twitter. Don’t know how to find? Just follow us and we’ll lead you to the Twitpic promise land.  Few ‘ballers, however, post the wide assortment of 140-character tweets as the Belletti family does. In fact, they seem to have the strongest chance of rivaling our favorite U.S. famewhores, The Kardashians.

Luana posted the above party photo over the holidays while Juliano has been known to share shots of his wife in a bikini from time to time.

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