'Cristiano' Category

Weekend Results: Clothing Removal Scorecard

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There were some pretty intense matches this weekend – none of which we watched. (Don’t ask.) But instead of being Negative Nellies about the whole thing, we’re going to focus on ‘ballers in their birthday suits. It’s our go-to happy place.

Also handy for cheering us up: judging those that are naked. Our score card (including Mr. De Rossi) is below. Hope the weekend results were as good for you as they were for Ab-Rollers and white cotton.

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Lazy Links & Randoms

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Dimitar Berbatov and his long, strong swordFeeling nervy about the World Cup draw today? We’re on our second manicure and third tequila shot. The only thing calming our nerves and giving us pleasure is this photo of Dimitar Berbatov winning Bulgaria’s Man Of The Year.

Speaking of the WC draw, conspiracy theories abound.

Christmas list: The Frank Lampard signature gold-plated i-pod. No word on if it contains mp3s of Lampsy reading bedtime stories or reciting poetry.

Thierry Henry’s ex, Claire launches some sexy knickers.

Cristiano Ronaldo does 3,000 sit-ups a day. Those abs don’t tone themselves, people.

The ciacha girls pick their dream eleven squad.

Sleepy footballers. They’re funny.

Harry Redknapp threatens to cancel Christmas. What the?

From the puffy coat to the quotes of LOL, Arsene Wenger deserves his own reality tv show.

Champions League Results: Shirtless, Mostly

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And the Champions League group stage action rolls on.

Of course, we could talk about Liverpool. Or Inter’s loss to Barca. Or even Andrey Arshavin’s very red head.

But that would only be taking attention away from the real story: the high level of players stripping off post-game. And that would be wrong of us.

We give you: John Terry (Chelsea), Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo (natch), Manchester United’s Kiko Macheda, Mario Gomez (Bayern Munich) and Gerard Pique (Barcelona). Honorable mention goes to Chelsea’s Nico Anelka for looking damn fine in those cursed, evil, wretched base layers.

20091125_zaf_a54_125.jpgMario Champions League

Chew On This: The Thanksgiving Thigh Off

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Gobble, gobble!Call it a coincidence or call it fate – US Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday… just in time for a thigh-off. How thightastic!

FYI, some of us at Kickette HQ are weirdly obsessed with seeing John Terry and Carlos Bocanegra dressed as pilgrims. But let’s leave our freaky fantasy lives out of this.

To our loyal Kickettes around the world, don’t fret about missing this holiday date*. We all have thighs to be thankful for regardless of whether or not one partakes in the food-coma-inducing fiesta del face-stuffing. And as we all know, thighs are truly an appropriate and appreciated treat for every day of the year.

So throw on your best Marchesa feathers or Fendi buckle belts and cleanse your palettes, it’s turkey time! (Well, it will be tomorrow, but we’re doing this a day early as we’ve been informed of the mass exodus that occurs on the official date.)

Note: Don’t expect us to teach you how to brine a bird. We’re only here to offer our expert man-eating advice on which cuts of thigh are worthy of your Tiffany’s flatware.

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Lazy Links & Randoms

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Cristiano in Madrid

Cristiano Ronaldo’s back in training. Tell the truth, you’d throw yourself on the bonnet of his car to get his attention, wouldn’t you? We practice stunt-rolls daily. Image via Getty

How to survive a Roy Keane attack. Sigh. We’d love one.

Croatian keeper saves a cat, gets booked. Meow!

Arsenal Wenger expresses himself with a few choice expletives.

Fashion showdown: Pep Guardiola v Jose Mourinho

Gerard Pique: wears troll beads, looks orange.

Oh dearStuttgart’s Markus Babbel’s face. Because it’s funny.

FIFA schedule an extraordinary meeting.

We’re bored of this story already.

Guti and his new student fling, Paula, spent a relaxing few days in Ibiza touring his favorite sights.

Baby Kai heads to Old Trafford with Coleen.

Spurs fans: it’s not a dream.

Antonio Cassano set his wedding date smack-dab in the middle of the World Cup he was probably going to be excluded from.