'Cristiano' Category

Euro 2012 In Pictures: It’s Torso Time

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Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images Europe.

Some mid-sections are never concerned with being caught unawares, Kickettes.

Here’s a “we came to get down” selection of them from all this weekend’s matches.

Euro 2012 In Pictures: Denmark vs Portugal, Netherlands vs Germany

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The Euro 2012 Group O’ Death action soldiered on Wednesday and here’s our two cents about it:

Denmark: So, we know next to nothing about this team. Except that Bendy wore green pants that we’ve never seen before. We thought we’d seen all of his pants, so we’ll go with that.

Portugal: Some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to properly prep for game days. An excess of testosterone bodes well in footy matches, but when Ronaldo doesn’t have the energy or desire to whore out his body, you know he’s had a bad day.

Netherlands: Wesley Sneijder’s torso. And that tattoo. Oranje fans have suffered with this enough but Ibrahim Afellay is so refreshingly cute, he makes us want to skip through meadows and wear petticoats.

Germany: Well, they had this loveliness up front. Also up front, Mats Hummels. We assumed teams only needed one muscle-bound, vein-bulging footballer to win a game. So, congrats on that.

Euro 2012 In Pictures: Germany 1-0 Portugal

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Month-long summer footy tournaments are like the hot boyfriend that arrives on a motorcycle, but only brings one helmet. Sexy, but heartbreaking. Wait, let’s clarify as that situation isn’t entirely heartbreaking. True heartache would be if he showed up wearing leather trousers.

Let’s stay on topic.

Saturday’s second game between Germany and Portugal saw some uncharacteristic attempts on goal, WAGs out supporting their men and, as always, reminded us how topsy, turvy and tiresome the Euros can be.

In case you were held in the Vogue beauty closet against your will over the weekend (lucky cow), here’s a simple sum up.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Wax Figure Gets Felt Up In Berlin

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Can we have one for our HQ’s personal use as well?

Now Boarding: Netherlands & Portugal

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Images: REUTERS/Rafael Marchante.

The Dutchies made their smartly dressed in blazers and jeans way through Schiphol Airport earlier today to catch their flight to Euro 2012. As assumed, Wesley Sneijder looked naively nummy while Robin van Persie was double teamed by two women (understandably so).

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