'Cristiano' Category

Good Week/Bad Week: Creativity, Cash and Chazza




Nicola McLean (wife of Tommy Williams, Peterborough United) went to the Hannah Montana London premiere, bringing a little WAG “glam” to the yellow carpet.  Thierry Henry’s ex-wife Claire Merry brought her Goddaughter, Maisy Belle along for the fun too. For those concerned, there were no casualties reported suffering from eye bleed or brain damage after watching the film.

Pro wrestling
The world’s most realistic sport got a boost of extra star power when Michael Ballack showed up ringside at the ECW event last Tuesday. We would give our right stiletto to see Michael squeeze himself into a spandex leotard with fire painted up one leg, parading around, nipples erect and ready to poke an unsuspecting opponent’s eye out.  Michael’s team mates Ashley Cole and Jon Mikel Obi were also at the WWE event.

Impressive titles
Daniele De Rossi is set to be named as a “Knight of Rome” on May 25th. Francesco Totti already holds this honour and will be present at the ceremony.  They both better be wearing armour and carrying swords or we’ll be seriously disappointed.

Creative expression in print
Rio Ferdinand’s new online lifestyle magazine, #5, made it’s debut last week. 50 Cent got the cover spot, pop singer Duffy, actor Mickey Rourke and buddy Cristiano Ronaldo are all featured inside.  Since we love any and all footballing forays into the magazine realm, we enjoyed flicking through this virtual world of words, pics and video. FYI, Michael Jackson has reached out to Rio to offer an exclusive chat for a future issue.



Fact checkers
Every photo agency with pics from the Hannah Montana event identified Maisy Belle as Tea Henry, Claire’s daughter from her relationship with Thierry Henry. Curious that no one would question a child growing several feet in height over a short span of time, but who are we to criticize? We fact check stories using our Magic 8 ball.

Cash flow
Southampton FC looks set to fold in just eight days. The club went into administration last month with players only getting paid after £140k was raised by fans.  We still can’t believe that Southampton isn’t in the Premier League anymore, let alone at this state of being in the poor house.  Someone write these boys a cheque, please!

Girl group unity
Cheryl Cole has announced she will be pursuing solo projects after the Girls Aloud tour wraps up.  The to-do’s on Chazza’s list? Releasing a solo album and looking foxy.

Jermain Defoe
Finally, in truly terrible news, Tottenham’s Jermain Defoe suffered a huge loss on Friday when his brother, Jade, succumbed to head injuries sustained in a recent attack and died.  Understandably, Jermain missed out on Saturday’s game and is said to be devastated by the news.

Kasper Schmeichel: Dapper Blonde



Bet you can’t name which club goalkeeping cutie Kasper Schmeichel plays for…

Don’t worry, no one can.

(It’s Coventry City. Fancy that.)

Kasper was seen arriving at Old Trafford for the Manchester United killer 5-2 victory over Tottenham on Saturday.  That means he got to see this in personAnd this. And also this. 


Lazy Links and Randoms



Blumer Elano, wife Alexandra and daughter Maria Teresa head to the opening of the Bem Brasil restaurant in Manchester. Also in attendance from the Man City squad: Shaun Wright-Phillips, Wayne Bridge, Robinho, Felipe Caicedo, Pablo Zabaleta and Glauber Berti.

Comparing the hotness factor of Cristiano Ronaldo v David Beckham is like asking a parent to choose their favourite child. Wrong on so many levels.

Our Polish sisters-in-arms have a pic of Didier Drogba showcasing every muscle group in his chest and torso.

You want to ride the Berbabus, don’t you? It’s okay to admit it. Give in to Dimi, it’s better that way.

Tottenham’s Tom Huddlestone’s new girlfriend, Corrine, loves pink lipstick. Do we need to stage an intervention?  [link slightly NSFW]

Add Roque Santa Cruz to the “gimping ain’t easy” list. He’s just had surgery to sort out a “floating fragment” in his knee.
Are concerns about Bobo Vieri and what he’s doing in his spare time keeping you up at night? Probably not. But FYI, he’s been playing poker.

Who knew Arsene Wenger had moves like these? Go on, get crunk, AW!

We’re all for the combo of cute and talent on the Barca FC pitch, but if anyone brought these freaky things into our homes we would have to beat them with a pointy stick until they exited.

CL Preview: May the Best Bulge Win


The Champions League action continues today.  Here’s our take on why all the teams involved have a fantabulous chance at moving on to the semis:

imageArsenal: Andrei Arshavin’s hair. And personality. Gunners fans have suffered with this enough; surely the Gods will stand behind them. Plus, you know, they have Cesc.

Villareal: So, we know absolutely nothing about this team. Except that some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to prep for game day. An excess of testosterone always bodes well in footy matches, so we’ll go with that.

imageManchester United: Judging by Dimitar Berbatov (above) and Cristiano Ronaldo’s training techniques, this is a game that will involve much thrusting and groin-stretching.  If that’s not a match-winning attitude, we don’t know what is.

Porto: Well, they’ve got this bearded lovely up front. Also up front, a player who goes by the name of “Hulk”.  We’re assuming you only need one muscle-bound, green, vein-bulging and rage-filled superhero to win a game. So, congrats on that.

Good luck to everyone tonight!

Tuesday Torsos: Cristiano Ronaldo



It’s one of the best torsos in the business, dear readers. You know it. We know it. And most importantly of all, Cristiano knows it.