image via BIG Pictures UK/KEYSTONE Press for kickette.com
Looks like Cristiano Ronaldo brought both his six pack and his silver flip flops along on his trip to Maderia. He’s obviously an efficient packer when it comes to carry on luggage.
The Man Utd winger has been hanging out in Portugal with his agent, Jorge Mendes and his family – Cristiano’s mom is celebrating her 50th birthday.
C-Ron was also spotted visiting his sister’s boutique in Funchal – you remember the CR7 shop, yes? We’re sure many a man bag has been bought and sold at that little shop.
Also: we flicked through all the photos on offer in this holiday series and not one of them contained a hoochie, skank or skeevie. Happy new year, indeed!
Double also: it’s one of our life’s goals to spend five minutes alone in a room with Cristiano’s obliques. And also his pecs. And possibly a bicep. You see where this is heading.
Let’s finish up our favourite 2008 moments with a little sartorial inspiration:
Victoria Beckham finally broke out the stilletos-without-stillets we’d all been (not) waiting for, Carly Zucker made sure she kept the high-fashion fires bouffed and burning, Abigail Clancy looked remarkably hot in her LBD, so did Noemie Lenoir on the Victoria’s Secret catwalk;
Lilly-Ella Gerrard made us dream of rainbows and moonbeams, while her mama didn’t quite score as well on the fash-trend ratings. Oh, and the MTV Europe music awards in Liverpool were a big hit for good and bad baller style too.
But, it wasn’t just about the clothes this fall. Sometimes, it was about the all-important removal of the clothes:
John Terry seriously impressed us with his continuing dedication to Kickette content and lack of personal limits by removing his uniform as often as possible. Bordeaux’s Yoann Gourcuff picked up the JT torch and gave us the tizzies (and bouncies);
Cristiano Ronaldo took the top UEFA award, but we’re fairly sure it didn’t mean as much to his fans as this photo of him in the rain. Wet. Avec abs. Not to be outdone, Man Utd took wet shorts to an entirely new (tented) level. Thank goodness for the craptastic weather in dear ol’ Blighty.
We had a blast playing Halloween tricks with our favourite footballers, the Bayern boys put on their lederhosen and went to the circus, Nando killed us with his epic side-eye, Jermain Defoe became the proud winner of our Man-Ho of the Year award, and Lampsy gave us a good laugh with his facial expressions.
We discovered new – and young – talents like Bojan Krkic and Fraizer Campbell. Raul’s manicure was better than any we’ve ever seen, Theo Walcott went from boy to man in one fell swoop, and Roque Santa Cruz made us almost forgive base layers their transgressions against our life’s truths.
Whew. Is there anything better than the beautiful game?
April was a very busy month for both WAG and baller shenanigans, and the Kickette army was out in full force making their opinions heard as well:
Romance hit a bit of a rough patch. Ashley Cole admitted that he cheated on Cheryl Cole, and Whatsherface made her official public debut with Cristiano Ronaldo. Her sparkling diamond “C7” earrings twinkled in our nightmares for months to come. This post also sparked a brilliantly entertaining fantasy wedding discussion in the comments section that we’ve never forgotten;
We watched Coleen Rooney take her 40th vacation of the year, debated the sizzle factor of Phillipe Senderos and our obsession with Carly Zucker’s hair continued;
Alex Gerrard spent the day at Aintree fully bouffed, ruffled and ready for action – inspired, we broke down the WAG way to stylize at the races;
We never did find out what caused that interesting bruise on Elen Rives’s face, nor what gave Michael Ballack such a heightened reaction on the pitch;
Style-wise, Victoria Beckham’s Marc Jacob adverts gave us the hump, Man Utd had a night out doing the denim and trainer combo we all know and love; Chelsea also did the same but added some leather to the mix;
We discussed the popularity of footie slash fiction on the internet and learned how many of our readers had a secondary team they supported; and
We were thrilled to have the fabulous ladies of Go Fug Yourself exclusively guest post their fashion analysis on Abbey Clancy, Alex Gerrard and Elen Rives with hilarious results.
Side note: All this reminiscing is making us rather emotional, Kickettes. We have truly had a wonderful year with all of you and we can’t wait to do it again in 2009. Thank you for being such a wonderful audience and for all your support this year!
While we send the man servants out for another bottle of Baileys, let’s re-hash some of our favourite moments in February and March.
The title race was heating up, and so were our Man Candy detectors. We discovered Nikita Rukavytsya, Luke Steele and Aitor Ocio. Num!
We documented numerous bad fashion happening to rich people moments, including Elen Rives in wedgies and denim, Coleen Rooney in an interesting post-holiday choice, Noemie Lenoir (pictured) debuting the evil that is stirrup tights, Cheryl Cole – and numerous other WAGs – wearing trousers cum street sweepers and Alex Gerrard just being Alex.
Our ongoing coverage of Cristiano Ronaldo’s body continued, as did our love of other gratuitous bottom shots and open-shirt modeling situations
Our Man Whore of the Year began to take it up a notch;
Carly Zucker’s hair confused us;
The Arsenal boys got suited up and judged by all;
And, finally – we got a wonderful range of genuine and fun responses from the Kickette soldier girls when we asked when their love of the beautiful game started.
Kudos to the booking editors at women’s magazines in Spain. First, an insanely delicious Marie Claire photo shoot featuring Iker Casillas hit the shelves last month (sadly, not shelves in any newsagent within 1,000 miles of our hot little hands), and now our F5 number one is on the January cover of Elle magazine, looking fabulously dapper and debonair. We could do without the head- resting- on- chest and fingers- caressing- lapel action of smug Little Miss Lucky Pants, though.
Garden centres are enjoying a boost in their revenues after Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly spent over £6,000 on creating a Christmas grotto for his mansion in Cheshire - we’re talking thousands of twinkly lights, a 6 ft tree in every room – it’s tinsel’s greatest dream come true. In other C-Ron seasonal sweetness, after finding out about a young Portuguese player named Joao Santos auctioning off a pair of the Man Utd star’s boots to earn money for a knee operation, Cristiano stepped in and paid for the op as well as a rehabilitation program.