'Cristiano' Category

Question of the Day: The Whatsherface Rebound

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image via Marvix / dailymail

Sad and tired?

or

Tired and sad?

We’re going with the latter.

Link: Anything You Can Do

Cristiano Ronaldo: The UVA Saga Continues

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images courtesy of Splash News/KEYSTONE Press

It’s a vitamin D deficiency. That’s the only reason we can come up with for the amount of time Cristiano Ronaldo is spending in the sun.

You’ll be glad to know, he did take a moment out of the Los Angeles tanning/ nightclubbing/ fending off females in short skirts schedule to stop off at Ed Hardy to do a bit of shopping.  Then it was straight back to the pool with the latest gal-of-the-moment.  Does this look like Letizia to you, Kickettes?

Nereida, meanwhile is still working on her happy dance in the land of denial, though the routine is starting to get a tad stale. Here’s her latest take on their “relationship”:

She reportedly told a pal, “I’ve believed my man when he said he was being faithful – but these pictures look like he is a rat. He has some explaining to do.“  A source close to the model told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper, “If she texts him to ask what is going on, he texts back saying not to worry. “But when she tries to call him he doesn’t pick up the phone. She knows he’s ignoring it – it just makes her more furious.“

Nereida, dear?  It’s time to put the mobile phone down and start scanning the employment ads in the local paper.  Unless you were clever enough to make a sex tape, it’s back to the unfortunate world of working for a living.  And by working, we mean skeezing.

UVA Watch: Cristiano Hits Satsuma Orange

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Well, he’s knocked Fernando Torres and even Coleen McLoughlin out of the UVA sun damage competition, that’s for sure.

Cristiano Ronaldo has been pushing the limits of his suncream for several weeks now – first on holiday with ex-girlfriend Nereida, and now he’s toasting and roasting himself all over California.  Think you’re done, hon. Time to get off the barbey. 

Random: We love the dude in his speedos tanning next to C-Ron.  It’s Club Tropicana up in here.

The Hook Up: Cristiano Ronaldo/Random Brunette

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Well, it looks like Cristiano’s over Whatsherface McBoobies.

The latest news coming out of Hollywood – where CR is currently businessing/vacationing – is that he hooked up with a hot brunette (not Nereida) and headed back to his hotel room with her around 2am.

But let’s not jump to conclusions.  Perhaps Cristiano just wanted to show her his collection of man bags.

Btw, C-Ron haters, move along from this post without expressing your distaste. For those of us who appreciate, we would rather not have our eye-feast interrupted by being reminded of hair grease, arrogance, slavery and so forth.  Spoils the mood.

Cristiano Ronaldo: Crutches in the City

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Whilst whatsherface continues her media beach tour of denial, Cristiano Ronaldo flew to Los Angeles for a series of business meetings and social gatherings.  He was seen deep in conversation with a group of suits at resto STK, and later knocked back some vodka with his boys at Villa nightclub.

As is per usual, Cristiano was fending off the ladies left, right and centre, including the professional skeeze for hire, Paris Hilton

Btw, he’s also hired a personal assistant who the tabloids are saying is quite the hottie. She was traveling with him and the aforementioned crew.

Have a good recuperation C-Ron and get well soon. Remember, the first step to any proper form of muscle and bone healing is to be single.  The second, is to stop wearing shirts.